CHILDHOOD CHALLENGES: THOUGHTS OF SELF-HARM & SUICIDE

As a parent, it can be distressing to hear statements like “I wish I was dead” or “I won’t be a problem for you much longer” come out of your child’s mouth. But, before dismissing it as “just acting out”, know that self-harm and suicide is not reserved for adults. In fact, it’s more common in kids than you might think. And, in Singapore, it’s the leading cause of death among people aged 10 to 29.

That said, it’s critical for parents to get attuned to the state of their children’s mental health, explains DR SANVEEN KANG, a clinical psychologist and founder of Psych Connect. While many of these threats are not actually carried out, she still urges parents to take these comments seriously. Sadly, she says that the youngest age she has known for a child to take their own life intentionally is six years old.

“Every year there are tragedies in which children and teenagers take their own lives after making these threats – and everyone asks themselves, ‘How could this happen?’ and ‘Why didn’t we take the threat seriously?’”

In addition to verbal threats, other indicators to be aware of include:

• changes in eating or sleeping habits;

• frequent or pervasive sadness;

• withdrawal from friends, family and regular activities;

• frequent complaints about physical symptoms such as stomach aches and headaches;

• a decline in energy levels and in the quality of schoolwork;

• an inability to think clearly or concentrate;

• preoccupation with death and dying;

• not caring about activities or things that previously mattered;

• engagement in risky behaviours and carelessness with safety; and

• increased irritability.

Luckily, you don’t have to deal with this alone. “Reaching out for professional help is important for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your child,” says Dr Kang.

“When parents accept their child’s reality and seek help, they can steer them toward a healthier place, which can help prevent dark feelings from bubbling up later on.”

At Psych Connect, the team of psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors have years of experience helping families manage all kind of mental health issues and challenges. Psychotherapy (also known as talk therapy), she says, is one of the most effective treatment options for depression in children. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Solutions Focused Therapy and Art Psychotherapy are among the psychotherapies used.

“The eventual goal is for our clients to be psychologically healthy and lead meaningful lives.”