START THE CONVERSATION NO ONE LIKES TO HAVE
No possible outcome will be free of hurt feelings, but here’s how to minimise the fallout.
1 Pay more attention to your thoughts, says clinical psychologist
Vanessa. “If your first thought is ‘I shouldn’t tell’ or ‘he doesn’t need to know’, assess why you’re thinking this.” You’ll only commit to the conversation if you’re convinced there’s a problem. 2 Figure out what the starting point was. There’s always that first moment in the past when your husband reacted badly, or you felt a negative emotion that made you want to fib. Think back to what the trigger was, and you’ll get to the heart of the problem. 3 Plan the best time to have The Talk. You’ll both need to have the time, and be in a comfortable environment. Don’t talk before bed, advises Vanessa. No one’s in the mood to have explosive discussions after a long day. 4 Hold your tongue and try not to come across as too defensive in explaining why you lied. You definitely have your reasons, but give them with tact.