START THE CON­VER­SA­TION NO ONE LIKES TO HAVE

No pos­si­ble out­come will be free of hurt feel­ings, but here’s how to min­imise the fall­out.

Herworld (Singapore) - - FEATURE -

1 Pay more at­ten­tion to your thoughts, says clin­i­cal psy­chol­o­gist

Vanessa. “If your first thought is ‘I shouldn’t tell’ or ‘he doesn’t need to know’, as­sess why you’re think­ing this.” You’ll only com­mit to the con­ver­sa­tion if you’re con­vinced there’s a prob­lem. 2 Fig­ure out what the start­ing point was. There’s al­ways that first mo­ment in the past when your hus­band re­acted badly, or you felt a neg­a­tive emo­tion that made you want to fib. Think back to what the trig­ger was, and you’ll get to the heart of the prob­lem. 3 Plan the best time to have The Talk. You’ll both need to have the time, and be in a com­fort­able en­vi­ron­ment. Don’t talk be­fore bed, ad­vises Vanessa. No one’s in the mood to have ex­plo­sive dis­cus­sions af­ter a long day. 4 Hold your tongue and try not to come across as too de­fen­sive in ex­plain­ing why you lied. You def­i­nitely have your rea­sons, but give them with tact.

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