The Last Word
IT HAS BEEN reported that John F Kennedy was a big fan of the handshake. He believed, apparently, that they were so important – so indicative of both character and intention – that he commissioned a study on them and used the results to decide upon which variation to deploy when greeting other world leaders.
Donald Trump on the other hand (forgive me) has variously described the handshake as “disgusting”, “one of the curses of American society”, and, with his characteristic command over the English language, “very, very terrible”. As president of the US, however, he seems to have managed to overcome his self-confessed germaphobia and has been witnessed (by millions) using a range of techniques with the likes of Emmanuel Macron, Justin Trudeau, Shinzo Abe and Xi Jinping (to name but a few). Each one of them was clearly designed to produce the maximum amount of discomfort on the recipient, thereby proving his power and superiority. But what’s he going to be doing in the post-coronavirus pandemic world?
The handshake dates back to the fifth century BC in Greece, according to historians. It was, initially, more of a forearm grab than the meeting of palms, but it was meant to signify that both parties came in peace and were unarmed – which worked for right-handed people but not necessarily for the lefties. I digress. The handshake became common around the world, but it’s not going to be de rigueur for much longer.
Fist bumps? Elbow knocks? The latter has the advantage in the hygiene stakes but doesn’t look very dignified, while the former’s a tad hippyesque (or should that be ‘hipsteresque?) and you can’t really imagine seeing it at highlevel board meetings, or state funerals, for example.
People in Tibet stick their tongues out in greeting.
This could work as long as there is sufficient social distancing. The Maasai spit when they make an acquaintance, which sounds like a seriously bad idea, while in Tuvalu, tradition dictates the pressing of one’s face to the cheek of the other person and having a good sniff. Again, suboptimal in our post-COVID-19 universe.
We may have to get creative, but perhaps the Japanese have had it right for all these years. A dignified bow (the extent of which is important when conferring respect, status and deference – or lack thereof) at a safe distance seems to tick a lot of boxes. Trump was right. Shaking hands is a germ fest. It’s something that we’re going to have to get used to not doing when we return to some level of normalcy and are able to greet our fellow human beings once again.