1 YEAR OLD Hubby isn’t chip­ping in with house­hold chores? Here’s how you can get him to play his part.

You’re ex­hausted with your tod­dler, but there’s still so much to do at home. Get your hus­band to help, urges DR RICHARD C. WOOLF­SON.

Young Parents (Singapore) - - C Ntents -

You are fed up. Your hus­band doesn’t think he needs to chip in with house­hold chores such as iron­ing clothes, wash­ing dishes and clean­ing win­dows. He as­sumes this is your do­main (read: re­spon­si­bil­ity), so he leaves it all up to you.

You don’t have do­mes­tic help, and you’re al­ready ex­hausted with Baby. To get your hus­band to play his part, it’s important to get his sup­port to tackle those nec­es­sary but te­dious tasks at home. Learn how you can speak your mind – tact­fully.

What you want to say to him

“When did we agree you’d slob around all day do­ing noth­ing while you watch me do ev­ery­thing to keep this house clean?”

Say this in­stead “We both have day jobs. Your job is to go out to your of­fice and be suc­cess­ful there. Mine is to nur­ture our baby at home and to look af­ter her as best as I can. But I feel we should share the other stuff that needs to be done at other times, like clean­ing the house, buy­ing food, and putting clothes in the wash­ing ma­chine. Don’t you agree?” What you want to say to him

“What makes you think I am bet­ter or more ca­pa­ble than you in wash­ing dishes af­ter a meal? I nd it just as tir­ing.”

Say this in­stead “I no­ticed that the dishes you washed last week were sparklingly clean. You are re­ally good at that, whereas I never seem to be able to get them look­ing so shiny. It would make sense if you did the dishes more of­ten, while I do some­thing else, like tidy­ing up. That way, we’ll both fin­ish chores more quickly and achieve bet­ter re­sults.”

What you want to say to him

“I am shat­tered at this point in the day, but you ex­pect me to clear up af­ter you while you do noth­ing.”

Say this in­stead “I’m not feel­ing good right now. Baby has been scream­ing all day, and I’m very wor­ried about her. I’ve not had a mo­ment to my­self. I’d re­ally ap­pre­ci­ate if you would iron some of our clothes tonight. You don’t have to do the whole lot, just as much as you can.” What you want to say to him

“My pal’s hus­band is so good to her and helps her so much. But you do noth­ing around the house. It drives me mad.”

Say this in­stead “My pal was brag­ging to­day about how won­der­ful her hus­band is be­cause he does this and that around the house. So I said to her I am proud of you, too, be­cause you are al­ways ready do do­mes­tic chores when­ever I ask. Could you take the garbage out­side?”

What you want to say to him

“You ex­pect your clothes to be per­fectly ironed and ready the ex­act mo­ment you want to wear them. Then you should iron them your­self for once.”

Say this in­stead “I think Baby is our top pri­or­ity, and she de­serves every sec­ond of my en­ergy and at­ten­tion. I know you feel the same way, as well. I’m about to feed, bathe and change her right now. I’ve left the iron­ing board and iron out for you, so you can press your shirts ready for tomorrow.”

“I’d re­ally ap­pre­ci­ate if you would iron some of our clothes tonight. You don’t have to do the whole lot, just as much as you can.”

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