In the hot seat as winter closes in

THIS column comes to you from the Office of Extremes. It’s extremely hot in summer and extremely cold in winter, which is why, on this particularly chilly day, I’ve got my laptop on my lap and my iPhone tucked into my bra. And why not? I’m recycling the heat produced by their batteries without putting any additional strain on Eskom.

What I’d really like at my desk, however, is the kind of warmth I get from the seat of my car when I switch on its seat heater. There’s something rather delicious about being warmed from the bottom up. And I don’t mean that in a 50 Shades Of Grey kind of way. It’s just that as the heat moves into the buttocks, through the lower back and up the spine, it produces a pulsating, soothing effect that seems to penetrate deeply and…. Yes. Well.

The good news is that such an office chair exists. Gentherm, which is big in heating technology for car seats, launched a new, ergonomic, battery-operated heated chair for the office market at a furnishing trade fair in Cologne, Germany, earlier this month.

According to the company’s research, just as people like controlling their “own thermal environments” when they’re in the car, they also want to take charge of their personal warming needs at their desks. What’s more, says Gentherm, heating an office or building using traditional methods can account for up to 45% of a company’s annual energy usage. But by providing workers with the new chair, warming up the entire space is no longer necessary. Instead, individuals can decide when to turn up their temperature, which can result in reduced overall energy use and lower operating costs.

Of course, the fact that the chair is ergonomic, supports the lower back and promotes good posture is important too. And when summer returns — or if you suffer from irregular surges of body heat — you can just flick the switch the other way: the chair also features a ventilated, cooling option.

But why stop at the heated car seat and bum-warming office chair? Another new product, developed by Californian bathroom products company Brondell, promises to “eliminate chill, discomfort and odour” when you go to the loo. The Breeza Warm temperatureadjustable heated toilet seat offers comfort and convenience, and its four-stage deodorising system also “traps and neutralises odours and provides a pleasant, natural fragrance”.

The seat even has a set-andforget function, which means you can choose and set your preferred temperature — there are three variations.

However, if you go for Brondell’s LumaWarm Nightlight version, you’ll get a toilet seat that is not only “welcomingly heated” but also illuminated “with the cool glow of a night light” to prevent you from fumbling about in the dark or blinking about blindly under a glaring bathroom light. But wait, there’s more. Brondell products also feature “gentleclosing, antimicrobial seats and lids”. In other words, you won’t wake your partner up when you put the toilet seat down — and you always do, don’t you?