Business Day

On the stage

- CHRISTINA KENNEDY

WHAT is the ideal age to start taking your child to the theatre? At what stage are they able to start focusing and stop being disruptive to other patrons? And what type of live entertainm­ent content is appropriat­e for tots and tweens?

Theatre advocacy groups continuall­y preach the gospel of “take a child to the theatre”, but the associated questions of age, maturity level and subject matter tend to take a back seat.

This crossed my mind while I was at Pieter Toerien’s Montecasin­o Theatre the other night and spotted a notice on the doors of the main theatre, where the magnificen­t local production of the musical, Sunset Boulevard, wraps up its run this weekend before moving to the Theatre on the Bay in Cape Town’s Camps Bay from October 28.

Besides clarifying that the fags smoked in the show are herbal cigarettes, the notice cautions audiences that no “babes in arms” are permitted in the theatre because the production features extremely loud gunshots. This warning may have been prompted after a local theatre personalit­y innocently brought her small granddaugh­ter to the musical’s opening night — and the little girl was totally freaked out by the fake gunfire.

I have to put up my hand and admit to being guilty of the same indiscreti­on. I prefer to call it naivety rather than stupidity.

While attending the Aardklop National Arts Festival in Potchefstr­oom a few weeks ago, my husband and I managed to score prized tickets to a performanc­e of theatre innovator Nicola Hanekom’s site-specific production, Land van Skedels (Land of Skulls), a stirring imagining of life in the concentrat­ion camps of the Anglo-Boer War.

The only snag: we could only get tickets for the same performanc­e, as the others were sold out. Not having a babysitter for our seven-month-old daughter, we thought it would be a bright idea to bring her along and introduce her to the wonderful world of theatre. It was, after all, an outdoor performanc­e in a remote forest clearing, we reasoned — and one of us could always steal away to the outskirts of the site and soothe her if she started niggling.

Good idea in principle, but rubbish in practice. It started off well enough, but as soon as the inevitable simulated cracks of artillery and cannon fire (hello — this play is about a war, so what did we expect?) started erupting, so did the shrieks of infantile distress. Bad mom, bad dad, bad idea. Exit left, tail between legs.

It’s comforting to know we aren’t alone in being clueless. At the Arts and Culture Trust’s recent performing arts scholarshi­ps competitio­n at the University of Johannesbu­rg, there was a toddler in the audience who was allowed to jabber nineteen to the dozen through the participan­ts’ performanc­es.

I can only hope that the poor matrics vying for the university grants couldn’t hear the babbling babe — cute though it was, it could easily have shredded those frayed teenage nerves even further.

And at Dirty Dancing at the Teatro last year — a musical featuring raunchy dancing, steamy scenes, and dialogue about abortions and losing one’s virginity — I was mortified to see not one, but several kiddies in the audience, brought along by their nostalgia-junkie parents. Call me square, but a sexy show like that isn’t for wee bairns.

Placing age restrictio­ns on shows is one thing, but enforcing them is another altogether. It’s up to the parents to take charge, although one shudders to think that they probably show the same disregard for what their children consume when it comes to TV, film and video games. Sometimes, censorship is a good thing.

Jill Girard who, with Keith Smith, stages delightful plays for little people at the Peoples Theatre at the Joburg Theatre complex, reckons it’s fine to start bringing moppets to the theatre from about 18 months old. But she’s talking about kiddies’ shows, where there’s usually a lot of talking, audience involvemen­t and cheerful mayhem — certainly not musicals aimed at adults.

It’s noble to want to familiaris­e your offspring with the theatre, so they don’t see it as alien or intimidati­ng. But exercise caution, for Pete’s sake. Just like chucking your kid into a swimming pool before they can swim could scare them off the water for life, exposing them to a potentiall­y traumatic or disturbing theatre experience could put a damper on their future appreciati­on of live entertainm­ent.

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