The in-house joker finally gets tired of firing his coaches
THERE was a time when the very mention of the name Siviwe ‘‘Chippa” Mpengesi elicited more howls of laughter than a Trevor Noah skit.
The Chippa United owner inadvertently became South African football’s very own in-house joke after developing a bewildering penchant for sacking coaches before the ink had dried on their employment contracts.
The man went through trainers with the speed of a Gautrain coach driver on ecstasy pills and, in the process, became gold for all the amateur comedians who hold court around the office water cooler on Monday mornings.
It wasn’t long before even those of us who come from the rolling hills of the Eastern Cape, and have a soft spot for the Port Elizabeth club, grew weary of his antics, as Mpengesi continued to push coaches in and out of the United revolving door.
Such was the madness that many of us were convinced that it would not be long before our man’s activities finally came to the attention of the good folks at the Guinness Book of Records.
And then an event no one would have ever imagined suddenly happened last year: Mpengesi stopped firing coaches and stuck to one man, Dan Malesela.
It was so unexpected, we thought it was the surest sign that the end-days were near.
But it has to be recalled that Malesela’s arrival at the club in December was not without its own problems and was laced with trademark Mpengesi drama.
Malesela was originally hired as an assistant, but was quickly elevated to the main seat after head coach, Roger Sikhakhane, was placed on, er, ‘‘special leave”.
Sikhakhane was accused of reporting for duty smelling of alcohol, when Chippa United played a friendly game against Mthatha Bucks on December 6 in Mthatha.
While actually getting such a charge to stick in the absence of a breathalyser was always going to be tricky, the fact is Sikhakhane never returned from special leave and officially parted ways with the club in February.
Malesela has since become head coach and has succeeded in turning United into one of the most exciting teams in the domestic top flight.
The Chilli Boys are seventh on the premiership table and, on a good day, are capable of playing the best football in SA. Malesela has managed this feat without the benefit of having had preseason with his players and, as clichéd as this may sound, he managed to hit the ground running and then some.
That he’s managed to get his players to produce easy to the eye, swashbuckling and at times breathtakingly beautiful football in the past few months is the strongest hint that Mpengesi has stumbled onto a good thing in Malesela.
They could even finish higher than their current position if they are able to get the better of erratic Golden Arrows, unpredictable Orlando Pirates and punch-drunk Kaizer Chiefs in their remaining matches.
Seventh place might not seem much, but those of us who don’t have short memories, remember that the selfsame United faced the relegation hangman on the final day of the season last May and only escaped when results elsewhere went their way.
This season has been far less taxing on Eastern Cape fans with high blood pressure. Instead of worrying about relegation, Malesela has them dreaming about how high they can finish.
Granted, you never know with Mpengesi and, as one deliciously sarcastic colleague pointed out yesterday, the return of Peter Koutroulis to his former role as club CEO should make many Eastern Cape folk nervous.
Koutroulis was accused of interference in his last stint with the club last year, a claim that Mpengesi was quick to dismiss when he rehired him in April.
Time will tell if the once trigger-happy club owner has learnt a lesson and will finally retire the feared six-shooter he used to such devastating effect in the past.