A Bafana coach — they seek him here, they seek him there
The search for a new Bafana Bafana coach has become as exasperating and as tiring as the fog of uncertainty that has been accompanying Finance Minister Pravin Gordhan like a faithful but unwanted companion for almost two years.
In the same way that Gordhan has probably been waking up daily since December 2015 wondering if he has been told to take a hike, the nation’s soccer lovers are wondering if they will finally be put out of their misery by the South African Football Association (Safa).
Both have been drawn-out, exhausting, frustrating and farcical affairs.
I certainly do not blame those who say they no longer give a flying toss what President Jacob Zuma and his Safa counterpart, Danny Jordaan, have been up to lately.
Whatever transpired after Gordhan landed in SA on Tuesday, it is understandable that some fellow holders of green IDs are dangerously close to reaching breaking point.
Three months after Safa fired the tempestuous Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba, it is no exaggeration to say some people have become indifferent to the endless parade of coaches linked to the job.
Indulge me, if you will, and let us take a trip back to the end of 2016, when Mashaba was fired after being found guilty of gross misconduct, insubordination and violating Safa’s communications policy.
Mamelodi Sundowns coach Pitso Mosimane was the initial favourite. As he had just led the club to the African Champions League title, he seemed to be the logical choice.
But Mosimane spurned Safa’s advances by ruling himself out of the equation, saying he preferred to stay on in the job-secure environment he has made for himself at Sundowns rather than take a plunge into the great unknown that is the Bafana coaching seat.
Enter Mozambican-born Carlos Queiroz.
He had agreed terms with Safa and was set to be announced as the new coach when his employers, the Iran Football Association, pulled the rug from under his feet and triggered a €7m resignation clause in his contract.
His contract runs until 2018 and the Iranians said if the folks at Safa were that desperate to get their hands on Queiroz, they would have to part with almost R100m. So that demand put paid to the idea.
Enter Frenchman Herve Renard. He was a favourite among the media and Jordaan met him in Zambia a few weeks ago.
It seemed a deal was a mere formality until he suddenly developed prima donna tendencies that would embarrass, well, Madonna.
Renard had a long list of demands that a little birdie tells me was so ridiculous, he would be right at home in Hollywood. He wanted to bring so many of his unemployed colleagues to SA that Safa would have needed to build a new wing at Safa House to accommodate all of them.
Oh, he also demanded that his agent earned 20% of his salary, at Safa’s expense of course, for the duration of his five-year contract.
Next up was Belgian Hugo Broos. He had his own list of ridiculous demands, including that pesky 20% of his salary he wanted his agent to be paid.
Safa told Broos to go fly a kite, too.
Then Dutchman Ruud Krol, Briton Stuart Baxter and many others were linked to the job.
Jordaan is apparently still receiving CVs for the job, but we are no closer to wrapping this thing up.
There has been a noticeably concerted effort to lead Safa towards Baxter in the past few days, but the little birdie tells this man from the rolling hills of Tsomo that he also has a list of demands that would make Bobby Motaung laugh.
Which brings us right back to where things stand at the moment.
Jordaan has given the reassurance the new man will be named in the coming days, but to quote Gordhan himself, “Let’s wait and see.”
Follow Ntloko on Twitter at @ntlokom.
●