Farcical political script extends into football with Baxter’s ludicrous Bafana demand

The past number of days have been so volatile and bewilderingly crazy, there were times when we wondered if we had slipped into The Twilight Zone.

Think about it: Malusi Gigaba is the finance minister; Fikile Mbalula, the one and only Razzmatazz, is the new police minister; Thulas Nxesi is the new sport minister and, wait for it, Bathabile Dlamini is as happy as a fish in water because she somehow managed to keep her job.

As if that were not enough, S&P Global Ratings have downgraded SA’s sovereign rating to junk status following the unceremonious axing of Pravin Gordhan as finance minister.

Oh, did I mention that several parts of the country experienced tremors this week and Stuart Baxter is apparently trying to get his son a comfortable office down the hall from his own at Safa House? What a time to be alive!

Many of us fell off our chairs on Sunday when we heard Baxter had allegedly told the South African Football Association (Safa) that he would accept the Bafana Bafana coaching job on condition his son was appointed as national team goalkeeper coach.

I tell you, you cannot make this stuff up!

Insiders close to the negotiations told Business Day that the Briton had agreed personal terms of a salary believed to be in the region of R1m a month for his second stint with the senior national team.

But his acceptance of the job is believed to be on condition that his son‚ Lee‚ becomes the goalkeeper coach.

The insiders also revealed that Safa officials are a little nervous about this because, besides the obvious nepotism, Lee is inexperienced at international level.

The folks at Safa House are well aware that the brown stuff will hit the fan should Lee be presented to the public and the media in the coming days. So, negotiations have reached a bit of an impasse and Safa are running out of time.

Baxter’s employers, SuperSport United, are running out of patience because the uncertainty is affecting their own daily operations.

The United players are sensing that their coach is distracted and it is starting to show on the pitch.

Don’t take my word for it. The suggestion was made by one of Baxter’s main rivals, Wits coach Gavin Hunt, who says United’s unexpected 0-1 defeat to bottom club Baroka FC at the weekend can in part be attributed to the uncertainty.

‘‘Of course, it [the speculation] will have an effect [on United]‚” a delighted Hunt told this columnist on Monday.

“You saw on Saturday and it had an effect already, I think.

‘‘There is always speculation and it happens all over the world. Long may it continue.”

Hunt could not hide his happiness, as you will have noted, because United is one of his biggest rivals and the longer it takes for this drama to be resolved, the greater the effect on its chances of winning the league.

But surely folks, Safa cannot seriously be entertaining this demand?

It is bad enough that it has been four months since the combustible Ephraim “Shakes” Mashaba was asked to take a hike and his replacement has still not been announced.

Some of us have become indifferent to the endless parade of coaches linked to the job and now to hear that the latest name is making such a demand boggles the mind.

Please wake me up because surely this cannot be happening?

Almost all the coaches that have been linked to this job have come up with outrageous demands and I am starting to wonder why they think they can get away with this nonsense.

There may not be a more polarising figure in South African football than Baxter at the moment.

While some celebrate him, others become infuriated at the mention of his name.

Can the folks at Safa House afford to complicate things further and add his son to the mix?