On the other hand … let’s get Naas telling his rugby stories
On Friday afternoon, when the sun is high and the air is just right for drinking beer, I will be having a chat to Naas Botha in front of 150 rugby fans at the Pirates Sports Club in Greenside.
It is one of the regular lunches held at the club with a VIP guest — usually a sports star of some description, although the comedian Mark Banks made a star turn there some years ago.
Stories are told. Some of them are stories that can be repeated, some not. With everyone so desperate to share things via the interwebs these days, there are fewer stories told that cannot be repeated.
Things get out, the bush telegraph of social media amplifies and distorts. Sometimes you just want to feel like you have been told a tale on the sly, something a little salacious and naughty. Sometimes you want the sports star to talk to the room like he is having a natter over a beer.
Nick Mallett was one of those when he was a guest. His story about rugby in France is one they still giggle at nervously at the bar at Pirates. Mallett wouldn’t stop talking. When told he had gone over his allotted time, he said: “I am here all afternoon. Let’s talk.”
He was honest and brutal and funny and a breath of fresh air. Buy me a beer and I’ll tell you a few of his stories, but only if you promise not to tell anyone else.
Sean Fitzpatrick was a star turn, telling a tale of being a young All Black sharing a room with a senior player and being sent to the hotel kitchen to fetch ice for later. He was told to put it in the bath. He was a little confused. Was this for an ice bath, treatment on sore legs and arms? Nope, it was to cool the case of beer that was already in the bath.
Today, there will be a nod of the head for the late Rev Chunky Young, who used to say grace before lunch. In timehonoured Pirates’ tradition, he would preface grace with a ribald and unholy joke. He is sorely missed for his wit, wisdom and kindness.
My job will be to ask Naas