Silent, bigoted or brave, the stars look very different today

The Australians have taken one small step for man, one giant sip for mankind with the news that they have developed a beer that can be drunk in space. As Drinksfeed.com puts it: “In July 1969, astronaut Neil Armstrong went to the moon with a Buzz. And pretty soon, so can you.”

It has taken them a decade for Vostok, an Australian startup that is a collaboration between 4 Pines Beer and Saber Astronautics, to come up with a beer that will be able to be tasted in space.

The beer will not make you burp and avoids the mess of being poured, flowing into the electronics and perhaps causing another Major Tom incident.

They have found that the best beer is an Irish-style stout, which will be good news for Bob Geldof, who said five years ago that he wants to become the first Irishman in space.

The Australians have come up with some grand inventions. The black box recorder for planes, the electric drill, Google maps, the electronic pacemaker, Wi-Fi, the ultrasound scanner and permanent crease clothing.

They also invented spray-on skin, which Israel Folau may have become addicted to after doubling down on his statement that his god is going to send homosexuals to hell.

From memory and, by all accounts from those who live their lives by referring to the TMO in the sky, hell is not a nice place.

Hell is hot. It’s a lake of fire. It’s a place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth, which sounds a lot like the Rugby Australia offices this week as they tried to douse the fires that Folau had lit.

Folau’s belief probably comes from Revelation: “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practise magic arts, the idolaters and all liars — they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulphur. This is the second death.”

Never mind the burning, hell smells of farts. Hell is a changing room. No one talks about homosexuality in rugby changing rooms.

They may joke about it, but no one wants to know if the fella sitting next to them, the one whom the TMO in the sky has blessed with a body that you would simply die for, is gay.

Except that they would not, you know, because rugby is for heterosexuals. It’s the nature of the, er, beast.

They will speak of their spirituality, of a love for a manly figure, strangely enough, who shapes their lives through a book that gives them guidance as to how they should live.

That is not a bad thing, until they choose to use that book and the words in it as a weapon of intolerance.

Then they do themselves and their god no favours.

It is unlikely a South African rugby player will speak out against Folau the way All Black TJ Perenara and Chiefs scrumhalf Brad Weber have done.

There has been some good but necessarily vague words about freedom of speech and using it wisely by some former Springboks. But none has stood up to condemn Folau and none will.

No current South African player will want to be seen to be taking the side of the “moffies”, man. Instead, we turn to the Kiwis. “I can’t stand that I have to play this game that I love with people, like Folau, who say what he’s saying,” said Weber.

Perenara thought of the Polynesians who might be struggling with their sexuality and how this would hit them hard: “To anyone, young Maori/Pasifika people especially, who may be struggling with their identity — please know that it is okay to be you. You are perfect as you are.

“Do not let these comments keep you from being yourself. Polynesia has been sexually diverse since forever.”

It would be quite perfect if Nigel Owens, the referee who came out as gay in 2007, gets to blow a Test match with Australia in 2018.

Folau will continue to play for the Wallabies after Rugby Australia tripped over themselves to ensure their highest-paid star did not walk away from the sport. Rugby Australia said they understood where Folau was coming from.

Really, then why did they not say he was coming from a place of bigotry and revulsion? Why did they not tell him to sling his hook? Why did they not realise that Folau took one small step for a man, and one giant leap backwards for rugby?

IT IS UNLIKELY A SOUTH AFRICAN RUGBY PLAYER WILL SPEAK OUT AGAINST FOLAU THE WAY ALL BLACK TJ PERENARA AND CHIEFS SCRUMHALF BRAD WEBER HAVE DONE