Vengeance, vampires in the mist
AFTER a newscast opening sequence that creates a setting for our latest instalment of Kate Beckinsale in leather, we get down to business.
It seems the humans have discovered lycans and vampires and want to eradicate them.
Selene (Kate Beckinsale clearly is a vampire because she hasn’t physically changed since that first 2003 film, or Photoshop was working overtime) wakes up in a laboratory, broken glass all over the place, sirens blaring. Faced with the choice of a scared, juicy human, or what looks like a bottle of blood, she reaches for… her boots.
Yes, she’s naked. But, what self-respecting vampire goes for the apparel first?
This sartorial decision is a marker of what follows. Clearly she is not going to kick ass in any respectable way until she gets THE coat and that first army surplus one just wasn’t going to cut it.
But, wait, down in a dank cellar she finds the ultimate whispery leather coat and the fight is on.
Oh, there’s some posturing between who turns blue when angry, who needs protecting, and the hugest ever lycan that needs putting down, but that’s okay,
Selene’s found some guns.
Michael Ealy plays a cop who helps Selene figure out just who is behind… er… there’s a murky plot involving Stephen Rea being all doleful as a scientist.
Now, usually the lone black dude is going to bite the dust, or get bitten, pretty early on in a scary movie. But not only is Ealy a very pretty boy and therefore necessary to the furtherance of the story, but he’s got light eyes.
See, the vampires are our protagonists and have all got light eyes and are therefore clearly the good guys and must make it to the end. The other light-eyed pretty boy is David (James), a young vampire who’s grown up on stories of death dealers and would simply love it if Selene showed him the way.
The ending, which comes after a scant 84 minutes (which seemed longer), opens the way for a sequel, but really, other than as an excuse to create a beautiful special effect for silver mist, there wasn’t much