Taxi drivers could learn a lot from their UK counterparts

THERE’S a genuine old London taxi-cab parked in Muizenberg’s Main Road on most days. I think it’s available for hire for special occasions.

When I drive past it I can’t help comparing London’s taxi service to our own sometimes chaotic mini-bus taxi service.

I read an interview with a London cabbie in a recent issue of The Week magazine, and was impressed by the strictness of the regulations governing them and the professional standards they are expected to maintain.

In addition to the usual Ministry of Transport annual inspection, every London taxi must pass a set of “conditions of fitness” rules that have been unchanged for more than a century. Among other things, a London cab must have a turning circle not greater than 25 feet (7.6m) in order to be able to negotiate some of the city’s narrower streets.

Passenger accommodation must still be high enough to allow a gentleman to sit upright while wearing a top hat. But most impressive is the “Knowledge of London” test every cabbie must pass before being given a licence. Some candidates attempt the test year after year without ever passing.

They are asked by a panel of judges to give the shortest routes between any two places in the city and have to be able to point out literally thousands of points of interest in the city. London has more than 25 000 streets.

Small wonder the London cab drivers regard their profession with fierce pride. They really have earned their jobs.

The first “hackney carriage drivers” were registered in 1654 under Oliver Cromwell’s government. Think about that. Jan van Riebeeck had not yet planted the first grapes in the Cape.

I hope there are Cape Town taxi drivers who take their vitally important profession as seriously as those London cabbies do.

We sometimes get a rather different impression.

Doc dog I was intrigued to read that a sniffer dog had been trained in an Amsterdam hospital to sniff out a certain dangerous bacterium called Clostridium difficile.

Apparently the two-year-old beagle is brought into a hospital ward where it walks along the row of beds sniffing the air until it detects the bacterium, then lies down next to the infected patient.

Doctors say the dog is 60 percent accurate and can sniff out an entire ward in less than 10 minutes.

The bacterium can be fatal and usually takes expensive and slow tests to diagnose.

This opens up all kinds of possibilities, doesn’t it?

According to some experienced nursing friends many diseases do produce distinctive odours.

Just think how much time could be saved by employing efficient diagnostic dogs in the wards.

Last Laugh A man was sitting outside the pub, quietly enjoying a beer, when a nun came up and started lecturing him on the evils of alcohol.

“Sister,” he said to her, “have you ever tasted alcohol?”

“Of course not!” she said indignantly.

“Well, how do you know it’s evil? Surely you should at least taste it before you condemn it,” he said. “Let me buy you a drink and see whether you change your mind.”

“I couldn’t be seen drinking alcohol outside a bar,” she said, “but if you bring be a little alcohol in a teacup I might taste it.”

So the man went into the bar and ordered a beer and a vodka, and asked the barman to pour the vodka into a teacup.

“Oh no,” said the barman. “It’s that damn nun again, isn’t it.”