Last Laugh

tard. He replied: “I make my money from the mustard that people throw away on the sides of their plate.”

Every year, consumers in industrialised countries waste 222 million tons of food, almost as much as the food production of sub-Saharan Africa (230 million tons).

Consumers in developed countries each waste about 100kg of food per year.

More than 9 million tons of food are wasted in South Africa every year.

One small step in the right direction was announced recently by Norwegian company Orkla, who are the first to use a non-stick coating in their mayonnaise bottles to ensure that the very last drop can be used.

They have used an American product called Liquiglide, originally used to coat the insides of glue containers.

I was amazed at the number of sauces and spreads packaged in bottles in my local supermarket. If each of those bottles were to be tossed out when there’s still just a spoonful of sauce stuck to the inside, it would probably amount to several kilograms of wasted food.

Maybe Liquiglide will one day stop this wastage and put an end to the age-old tradition of tomato sauce bottle-bashing.

It reminds me of a couplet in the style of Ogden Nash: “You bash the bottom of the bottle. “First none’ll come, and then a lot’ll.” A host arranged to serve a whole stuffed fish as the main course at a dinner party. While the guests were eating the starter, the cook told the host that the cat had eaten a big chunk of the fish. The host told him to fill the hole with stuffing and serve it. After the meal the host was again called to the kitchen. The cook said, “The cat is dead.”

The host rushed his guests to hospital to have their stomachs pumped. When the host returned, he went to ask the cook, “Where is the cat now?”

“Oh,” said the chef, “the cat is still by the road where the truck ran it over.”