Top of the flops: the stars who just won’t fade away
Hollywood seems to be very forgiving towards certain kinds of actor and director, writes Stephanie Merry
HOLLYWOOD is a surprisingly forgiving town given how hard it is to break into the industry. What does it take to get blacklisted? Apparently nothing, other than maybe spouting off antiSemitic comments (looking at you, Mel Gibson).
Otherwise not even a CV filled with box-office flops will stop an actor from getting work. And a string of cancelled television series won’t keep a creator from getting another order from NBC.
In honour of Ryan Reynolds’s most recent box-office disaster, let’s look at the various species of invincible Hollywood phoenixes:
The charmer
Reynolds is proof that we can never underestimate the power of a twinkly smile and a rock-hard body.
The actor first delighted audiences playing the smart alec Berg on the turnof-the-millennium television show Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place. Tall, adorable and with impeccable comic timing, Reynolds was born to do a romantic comedy or five. And that’s exactly what he did with a series of so-so movies, including The Proposal and Definitely, Maybe.
He also headlined some spectacular box office failures. The action comedy R.I.P.D., for example, made about $78 million on a reported production budget of $130m. Ouch! His most recent starring role, Self/Less, brought in a paltry $5m on its opening weekend in the US.
But despite a string of underperforming outings, including a muchderided turn as the Green Lantern, Reynolds is set to star as the title character in an adaptation of another superhero comic, Deadpool.
See also: Taylor Kitsch, star of one of Hollywood’s most mythic bombs, John Carter, and Kate Hudson, who is cute as a button but hasn’t made a good movie since, well…
The genius underdog
Sometimes the good guys can’t catch a break. Case in point: Bryan Fuller. The showrunner’s steady stream of singular television series have never transcended cult status and keep getting cancelled too soon. NBC recently announced it would not renew Fuller’s critical darling Hannibal, which is the same fate that befell his other fanciful and unique inventions Pushing Daisies, Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me.
So now the only thing left to do is wait for his next show, American Gods, which will probably premiere in early next year. But will it survive the year?
See also: Heroes showrunner Tim Kring, who’s getting a second chance with Heroes Reborn this year. And let’s not forget that Joss Whedon used to be a member of this tribe before hitting it big with the Avengers movies. Sometimes all the second and third chances pay off.
The erratic auteur
Cameron Crowe might have won us all over with his boom box statement scene in the John Cusack vehicle Say Anything or his Tiny Dancer singalong in Almost Famous with Kate Hudson, but in recent years his tricks have started to feel like just that – cheap moves to tug at our heartstrings.
Elizabethtown was a special kind of misfire that was somehow outdone by the recent mess of Aloha, which was panned by the critics and slated for “whitewashing” the cast. No matter, Crowe is set to direct an upcoming pilot for Showtime, even if it appears to have hit a snag with the lead recently getting recast.
See also: Jason Reitman, a film-maker of such extremes it’s impossible to predict whether he’ll churn out a gem like Up In the Air or an unwatchable debacle in the vein of Men, Women & Children.
The one-hit wonder
M Night Shyamalan is a case study in how to stretch 15 minutes of fame into 15 years. The moody, surreal Sixth Sense tells us that all it takes is one good twist ending.
The director followed up seeing dead people with a bunch of other brooding supernatural thriller-ish dramas that all underperformed even though many sported his tell-tale last-minute curveball.
He’s still hard at work, bringing the distinctly meh Wayward Pines to television and terrorising grandchildren everywhere with his upcoming movie The Visit, in which Nana and Gramps turn into monsters after the sun sets.
See also: Chappie director Neill Blomkamp, who hasn’t been able to replicate the success of his thinking man’s action movie District9, and the Wachowskis, who may forever be living in the shadow of their Matrix movies.
The self-starter
Sometimes artists have to create their own opportunities. That’s what Zach Braff did with his Garden State follow-up Wish I Was Here.
The multi-step process started with a Kickstarter campaign, since studios weren’t willing to finance Braff ’s vision, but fans were. When he reached his $2m goal, the former Scrubs star made the movie and cast himself in the lead role, naturally.
See also: Rob Thomas, who used Kickstarter to turn his delightful, long-cancelled Veronica Mars series into a less satisfying movie, and James Franco who seems set on transforming all of William Faulkner’s best novels into middling movies.
The nostalgia-inducing stars of the ‘80s
What do Charlie Sheen, Christian Slater, Kiefer Sutherland, Judd Nelson, James Spader, Rob Lowe and John Cusack all have in common? They defined cool 30 years ago. They’ve also all made big professional or personal (or professional and personal) missteps but manage to keep on ticking.
See also: Demi Moore, although, true to form, Hollywood has been less charitable with the female stars. Ally Sheedy, where are you?
The household names
John Travolta can get away with anything. He can fondle all the lady-chins he wants. He can make all the awful Scientology movies he can possibly bankroll. He can mispronounce the names of Broadway’s biggest stars. He’s John Travolta, so he’ll still have multiple movies come out in any given year.
See also: Nicolas Cage, who has a knack for choosing the worst movies imaginable, but he’s a Coppola and an Oscar winner – so there.
Then there’s Nicole Kidman, whose recent flops have been particularly memorable. Rather than get a theatrical release in the US, Grace of Monaco went straight to cable TV. But if you think that’s going to slow down the Oscar winner’s career, think again.
Formerly funny men
Male comedians are the kings of second chances even long after their jokes have gone to seed. Adam Sandler is a prime example. His man-child shtick has remained the same, but the public’s appetite for his humour hasn’t.
Sandler’s movies tend to be exhausting and stupid, but that didn’t stop Netflix from signing him for a four-movie deal and landing itself in a lot of hot water after the comedian offended the Native Americans on set with his “humour”.
See also: Jim Carrey, whose war on vaccines gets more headlines than his work, but he still managed to make Dumb
and Dumber To and Vince Vaughn, who, like Sandler, is pedalling the same routine – the lovable fast talker – with increasingly lacklustre results. – The Washington Post