Boys love their toys, especially if they’re noisy and showy

SUMMER is the time to be out on the water if at all possible. I’ve recently enjoyed a couple of delightful evening cruises – not out to sea in an expensive yacht, but pootling along the canals of Marina da Gama in a tubby little rowing dinghy.

Normal outboard motors are banned on the marina, because they’d obviously disturb the peace of the area, and upset the bird life, but electric motors are accepted, as they are silent and can move a boat along at a leisurely speed.

The coots, ducks and grebes seem to regard electric-powered dinghies simply as rather large waterfowl and hardly even bother to get out of the way.

I was intrigued to learn recently that the outboard motor was originally invented so a love-struck American of Norwegian descent could get his girlfriend’s ice cream to her before it melted.

Apparently Ole Evinrude and his lady friend were picnicking on the water’s edge one hot summer’s day in 1909, when she remarked she’d love an ice cream.

Being a gallant young fellow, he sprang up, climbed into their rowing boat and headed across the water to the nearest restaurant for the ice cream.

Once he had bought it and rowed back across the lake in the hot sun the ice cream had melted and this got Ole thinking about a solution to the problem.

It led to the invention of the first “detachable rowboat motor” now generally known as an outboard motor. That’s typical male thinking, I reckon. If the girlfriend had been faced with the same problem she would have solved it by inventing an insulated cool-box instead.

But where’s the glory in something that doesn’t go “Vroom-vroom”?

Would men be interested in helicopters if they were silent?

Even as little boys we used to attach playing cards to our bicycles with clothes pegs to make a motorbike noise.

They didn’t make the bikes go any faster but they certainly sounded more impressive.

I wonder how many other life-changing inventions were the result of a man wanting to impress a woman.

I imagine the next time young Ole took his girlfriend on a picnic by the river he said eagerly: “Darling. How would you like a nice vanilla ice cream now?”

And she probably replied, “No thanks. Those sandwiches filled me up.”

Last Laugh

During the war an old lady was taking her little granddaughter across London in a taxi.

When they reached Piccadilly and stopped at a traffic light, the little girl asked: “Granny, what are all those ladies doing standing at the side of the road?”

“Well dear,” said the granny, not wanting to get into a difficult explanation, “they’re waiting for their husbands.”

The taxi driver turned round and growled: “Aw, come on lady, tell the girl the truth. They ain’t got no husbands.”

The little girl thought for a while and then said: “If they haven’t got husbands they can’t have children, can they?”

With a hard look at the driver the grandmother replied: “Of course they can, dear. Where do you think taxi drivers come from?”