Divorce on the up, weddings take a dive

THE NATIONAL divorce rate has increased by almost 5percent since 2012and the number of weddings has decreased, recent data released by Statistics SA has shown.

The findings are based on the 21 998 completed divorce documents that Statistics SA received and processed by the end of September 2014.

The number of divorces (21998) indicates an increase of 1 018 (4.9 percent) divorces from the 20 980 cases processed in 2011.

The data indicates more than half of all divorces are between couples with children under the age of 18 and the most divorced couples were married between five and nine years.

The average age of men getting divorced is 43, while the women’s average is 40. About 80percent of divorces occur in a first marriage. “It is often the difficult phase of the marriage when big changes take place and the couple is confronted with numerous adjustments,” explains Liezel van der Merwe, managing editor of INTIEM-magazine and founder of SA Marriage Week.

Other causes for divorce include unrealistic expectations, communication problems and financial difficulties. One of the reasons for the decline in marriage is probably the increase in the popularity of live-in relationships.

“During SA Marriage Week, we want to inspire couples to stay strong and work through their problems,” says Elanie Bell, co-ordinator of SA Marriage Week. “There are cases where a divorce cannot be avoided, but couples should always see it as the very last possible solution.”

Rakhi Beekrum, resident psychologist at eThekwini Hospital and Heart Centre, shared these tips on how to preserve a healthy, happy marriage:

Compliment more than you criticise. It seems so much easier to complain, but make a concerted effort to compliment your spouse

Quality time is the key. Spend time alone together doing things you enjoy. Couples who laugh together, stay together.

Balance we-time and me-time. While quality time is important, it’s even more important to have time by yourself, away from your partner, cultivating your individual interests.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Be aware of your own weaknesses. Think about your bad habits that upset your partner and make a concerted effort to change.

Effective communication requires you to be a good listener. Be there in times of need. Don’t bottle up frustrations. l Revisit your marriage vows on a regular basis.

Work as a team.