3 FIRST DATE MISTAKES YOU COULD BE MAKING |
Relationship coach Kas Naidoo on why even smart women can’t get past the first date hurdle
ONLINE dating, blind dates and casual encounters – you’ve exhausted almost every avenue but somehow you just can’t seem to get past the first date hurdle.
Everything goes according to plan. So why isn’t he calling you back?
Online dating platform Zoosk did a comprehensive survey in 2017 on dating habits, providing some important insight on where you might be going wrong.
The survey of over 6 000 participants found the majority of daters said the thing they like to talk about in their first conversation with someone is their hobbies and interests.
When it comes to paying the bill, 86% of men said they preferred to pay. A further 25% mentioned they like it when a woman offers to pay.
Relationship coach and matchmaker Kas Naidoo says it all comes down to women not wanting to let go of their independence. In the age of feminism, men still believe in chivalry and taking the lead at times. According to her, there are three mistakes that even smart women make on the first date. These are:
TALKING ABOUT PAST RELATIONSHIPS
“If you’re sitting across the table from this man; it means that all previous relationships have failed. Why would you want to dump all of these failures onto a new person?
“Remember you are venting about a member of the same species as the one sitting in front of you. In his mind, he sees you as a ‘manhater’. He’s afraid that if he got into a relationship with you, you will one day be talking about him in the same way.”
FALLING INTO THE SEX-ONLY ZONE
This is often made by women who have been alone for some time and feeling really lonely.
“You know that you have a lot to give and try to win him over by offering to do things for him.
“The most dangerous one is jumping into bed with him on a first date. It immediately puts you into the ‘sex only’ zone and you’re no longer girlfriend material.”
NOT LETTING HIM PAY THE BILL
“Since women are far more independent today than ever before and we are used to taking care of ourselves; we’ve forgotten how to let the man be the man.
“A real man wants to take care of his lady.
“He wants to feel like he can provide for you and make you happy. He wants to know that he can win with you. He wants to feel needed.”