LIE, DENY, AND HAVE AN­OTHER TRY

Cape Argus - - METRO -

“Okay, so you caught us ly­ing, but we’re politi­cians, so we are al­lowed to lie. What’s the big deal?”

When ly­ing is so ca­su­ally re­garded, how can we – the tax­pay­ing pub­lic – be­lieve any­thing our po­lit­i­cal lead­ers tell us?

We are told of long-term plans to cre­ate em­ploy­ment and re­duce crime and cre­ate a “bet­ter life for all”, but is this a real plan or sim­ply a politi­cian’s thumb-suck?

“We have de­cided that next year we will start teach­ing pigs to fly so they can get them­selves to the abat­toirs with­out get­ting their feet muddy. Nom­i­na­tions are called for can­di­dates for the Patu (Porcine Aero­nau­ti­cal Train­ing Unit).

“Ap­pli­cants with ex­pe­ri­ence of air­borne mam­malian be­hav­iour will be given pref­er­ence.”

Well, why not? No­body be­lieves politi­cians any­way, so if you’re go­ing to tell a porky, why not make it a whopper? Talk­ing of lies, I am em­bar­rassed to re­port that I have fallen for ex­actly the kind of scam I’ve been warn­ing read­ers about for years. And it didn’t even in­volve a politi­cian.

A very smooth-talk­ing gen­tle­man per­suaded me to let his team of bush clear­ers chop out the alien veg­e­ta­tion on my prop­erty and re­move it. Of course he needed money up front to have his ma­chines ser­viced and his lor­ries fu­elled.

Now I am left with a stack of cut bushes in my back­yard and a van­ished plot clearer. I guess his bakkie broke down.

I fear I will not see him again. Or my money. Silly me! If he does one day pop up and fin­ish the job, I’ll apol­o­gise pub­licly. In the mean­while, if a smooth-talk­ing woods­man of­fers to clear your prop­erty, you might like to check with me first, just in case it’s the same elu­sive fel­low. Last Laugh

Two dogs were chat­ting out­side the shop­ping mall. “This in­fla­tion is get­ting right out of con­trol,” said the one. “I be­lieve the price of dog food has gone up to nearly R10 a can.” “Good gra­cious!” said the other dog, “that’s about R70 in dog money!”

DAVID BIGGS dbiggs@glolink.co.za

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