OUR POLITICS IS A CAREER WORTH DYING FOR
THE man sitting in the corner of the pub looked up from his newspaper and said: “I can’t understand it.
“Why do South Africans take their political beliefs so seriously?
“Here’s yet another story about an ANC candidate being murdered.
“It seems to happen quite regularly. Surely if they want to stand for election in a democratic country, they must know it’s all about winning debates; not about killing your opponents.”
A swarthy customer at the bar set down his whisky and said: “What you guys don’t understand is that politics is the most sought-after career in this country, and it doesn’t matter what your political beliefs are, or even if you have any at all.
“Get elected and you’re set up for life. In a country full of uneducated people, it’s one of the few jobs where you need not have qualifications at all and still earn a huge salary.
“You attend the party meetings, wear the T-shirt, and shout the slogans until somebody notices you. Suck up to the party leaders and you might be accepted as a candidate. Get elected and you end up with a fat salary, a big car and free aeroplane rides. You don’t even have to work. All you do is vote the way you are told to. It looks like the perfect job. Isn’t that worth dying for?”
Freddie edged towards the door and Charley said: “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to buy a T-shirt before the shops shut,” said Freddie.
“I think I have just realised I have missed my calling.”
It’s always fascinated me to think you need years of trading to qualify as an accountant and many years of study to qualify as an engineer or a doctor or teacher, but you can talk your way into politics with no qualifications at all and be in such a powerful position, you can tell teachers, doctors, engineers and accountants how to manage their professions.
The man with the newspaper called out to Freddie as he reached the door: “Choose that T-shirt carefully, pal. Make sure it’s worth getting killed for.”
Freddie turned round slowly and said: “You know, I have an almost new Manchester United FC T-shirt at home. I think I’ll just stick with that. I never heard of anybody killed for wearing a Man United shirt. “Barman, I’ll have another dop-ndam. Make it a double, and one for my friend here with the newspaper.”
Last Laugh
A young woman student went into the exam room and was handed an exam paper that consisted of questions requiring only “yes” or “no” answers. She took out her pen and a coin and began tossing the coin and marking each question according to whether it landed heads or tails. Eventually she came to the last question, ticked the appropriate box and then began at the beginning again, flipping he coin, looking at her answer and sometimes changing it.
The invigilator was fascinated and went over to her.
“Is everything okay?” He asked. “Oh yes thanks,” said the student. “Actually I finished half an hour ago. Now I’m just checking my answers.”