CHOKING BACK THE TEARS WHILE DRINKING BEERS
FISH Hoek may no longer be a “dry” town, but it has been strange coming home to a water-stressed town after a month in England, where water doesn’t seem to be an issue.
I received several puzzled looks during the first few days of my holiday, when I asked my hosts questions such as: “What would you like me to do with the dirty dish water?” (Well, pull the plug, idiot! What else would you do with it?)
It’s difficult for someone in a water-rich country to realise there’s no such thing as useless water. It goes from the sink into a bucket, which might be good enough to water a plant or, if soapy, to flush a toilet.
One of the good things about coming home is to be where money actually buys things.
No matter how hard we try not to, we always translate pounds into rand in Britain – and the result is rather daunting.
You offer to pay for the next round in a pub and you note that the average price for a beer in a pub is about five pounds. That’s a modest twenty quid for you and three buddies. No problem.
But as you take your first sip you choke and think: “I just paid R400 for four beers!”
The result is that you learn to drink very, very slowly, which is probably not a bad thing. I have often been told by seasoned travellers to forget about exchange rates when you’re in a foreign country.
Just enjoy yourself and pay up and deal with your bank manager when you get back home.
I suppose that’s sound advice. No point in being miserable on holiday. Besides, if you didn’t have anything to grumble about overseas it wouldn’t be such a delight to come home.
The important thing, no matter where in the world you are, is to be surrounded by people you love. Beers may be expensive, but friends and family are treasures beyond price.
After enjoying efficient and comfortable public transport for a month it’s a bit of a shock to come home to chaos and inefficiency.
Local businessman Greg Bing told me one of his biggest problems was trying to treat his staff fairly when many of them arrive at work late through no fault of their own.
They say it’s not their fault the trains are delayed and they resent being asked to make up the time they lost.
Those who live closer arrive on time and feel resentful about being hard at work while their colleagues are sitting in slow trains.
It’s a real problem trying to keep his staff happy, Greg says.
Last Laugh
A notice on an English pub wall said: “There’s an art to enjoying wine. 1) Open the bottle. 2) Allow the wine to breathe. 3) If it does not look as though it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.”