Calling time on friendship

AFTER careful introspection, I’ve realised that sometimes we keep friendships just because they’ve been a part of our lives for a long period of time. And letting go may feel a lot like losing someone to the angel of death.

We often see the signs – but chose to ignore them, hoping that in time things will get better.

Well actually, they don’t. The once a day conversation over the phone or via chat, now becomes a drag. As the days go by, once a day becomes once a week, which becomes once in a few weeks…

And just like that, the penny drops. That person you thought you needed by your side and trusted with your deepest darkest secrets isn’t needed anymore.

The thing is, the universe has a funny way of removing people that you don’t need anymore or who don’t need you.

Here are a few ways to tell whether that childhood friendship needs to end.

■ The time between calls and texts widens: in my personal experience, the calls between us became fewer and further apart. Most of the time one of us would answer the call and say: “Hey,

I’m busy, will call you later” – but never did.

■ You don’t know what’s happening in each other’s lives: now your so-called best friend has a new friend and you’re the last to know. The important stuff you shared with each other is virtually non-existent. The thing is, though, you don’t even care to find out the details.

■ When the two of you hang out, there’s awkward silent moments: once you both had to fight over who gets to speak first, now there’s a deepening black hole of silence. Conversation runs out and you’re secretly planning to make the quickest exit possible.

■ Spending time with each other feels like a chore: making plans to meet doesn’t excite you anymore. In fact, hours before, you start to think of excuses to ditch the date. You’re even ready to “fake kill” someone to get out of it.

■ Someone else has replaced your best friend: This is a deal breaker. Either she’s met someone new and exciting to spend her time with or you have.

You know someone else has replaced her when you are quick to share your day’s events and deepest darkest secrets with the new one. Most of the time you would rather text and make plans with your new friend rather than trying to rebuild your old friendship.

Look out for the signs when a friend with whom you once shared your deepest, darkest secrets, and who meant so much to you, no longer occupies that special place.