MARK RUBERY CHESS
The following amusing, and certainly dated, piece of chess satire comes from the late and lamented publication ‘Chess Beast’ a cousin of the excellent if irreverent chess magazine ‘Kingpin’.
“Tired of all that memorization and tactics nonsense? Fed up with falling victim to inferior opponents who are better prepared? Abeauser & Tsceating is excited to offer for the first time to the general public, the new Braille Buddy®
That’s right! Now you, with the help of an accomplice, can destroy even the strongest of opponents with amazingly accurate play.
The Braille Buddy® is a device worn in your armpit (both right and left-handed models available!), that receives input via remote transmitter from your PIC (Partner In Crime).
Simply lean back in your chair and fold your arms across your chest as if in deep thought, surreptitiously placing your fingers over the Braille Buddy®, and - SHAZAM! Your PIC has just transmitted to you the correct forcing reply to your opponent’s awkward pawn advance. The warm reassuring feeling you will get from such an unobtrusive device will be interpreted by your opponent as cool confidence. No one will really know why they call you Fritz!
And your secret is safe with us. Abeauser & Tsceating keeps only numbered accounts for the protection of your privacy.
In keeping with the tradition of The Royal Game, Braille Buddy® comes standard with descriptive notation output, and a beautiful cloth carrying case free of charge.(Algebraic notation upgrade: $50 US).
Abeauser & Tsceating cannot be held liable for any misuse of this product.
It is the responsibility of the buyer to read and adhere to the terms and conditions set forth in the Owner’s Manual.
Batteries not included.”
Since this article technology has advanced at a furious rate, and even grandmasters have been found guilty using a combination of cell phones and chess engines to ‘improve’ their play. Thus it comes as no surprise that in events like the Olympiad players have to walk through metal-detectors to reach their boards…
BLACK TO PLAY AND WIN
GM Efim Geller was a passionate smoker.
At the opening of the Soviet Championship in 1977, immediately after the draw it was announced that smoking was prohibited during play. In his stately style Geller went up to the arbiter’s table, demonstratively placed on it the number that had just been draw and said in that case he would refuse to participate in the tournament. Agitation, bother, a little room was quickly prepared behind the stage, which Geller could use for a smoking break. (G Sosonko)