Male childcare-givers in SA
Where do you find such candidates in a gender-based violence-ridden country?
I’M THE one that’s struggling here, not her. This was a father’s response to my umpteenth reassurance that his daughter was okay in her new playgroup.
At that moment she was happily arranging mud cakes on a log under the plum tree. I realised later he was observing me to ensure that his daughter really was okay and safe with me as a male playgroup teacher.
In light of the extreme violence towards women and children in South Africa, it was hard to argue with him.
Where you place your child for care and early learning is one of the most important decisions a parent can make. The people and places that surround a young child influence their cognitive and emotional development for life. This is also likely to be the first social space that a child encounters without a parent, and it will shape the child’s engagement with most social institutions in future, including school, tertiary education and workplace.
We are all overwhelmed with reports of men’s violence, but if we are to stop the vicious cycles of violence and neglect, young children must be exposed to safe, caring and trustworthy men. This will reduce the likelihood of boys becoming perpetrators and girls being socialised to unconsciously accept men’s violence. But where do we find such men?
A few men in positions of care shared their stories with Kwanda Ndoda, innovation manager at the DG Murray Trust. Interviews were conducted with men associated with SmartStart, an early learning social franchise with a network of trained and licensed practitioners (SmartStarters) and with Toy Librarians working with the Ntataise Lowveld Trust.
Toy Librarians play with children, fix broken toys and avail toys to playgroups and early childhood development (ECD) centres. Their stories offer hope and point to two ways to promote a healthy society.
Enhancing gender equality in the workforce is a crucial first step: when men are involved in caregiving professions, it counters the notion that care work is only for women. Next, we need to promote the intergenerational transfer of caring behaviour.
Recent evidence shows that men have increased oxytocin (the so-called caring hormone) levels when involved in childcare. Spending time caring for children creates biological feedback that enables men to be better carers of children as evidenced by Senzo, who says: “Working here helped me a lot. I can control my temper and anger.”
Despite the sound individual and societal reasons for involving men in ECD, there are significant barriers to overcome. It is still unusual for men to be doing what is seen as women’s work. Senzo recalls: “My friends said: ‘You’re crazy to work with children! What do you think you’re doing?’”
Another hurdle is the risk of violence. Preventing teachers (of both sexes) using violence against children requires careful and effective vetting, training, and monitoring.
Good practice includes a clear code of conduct; having more than one adult present with children at all times; and encouraging a culture where children feel safe to talk about their experiences, with adults taking children’s reports seriously enough to act.
Encouraging more men to become active in ECD requires a systematically implemented and monitored approach. Balungile appreciated that SmartStart did not recruit for “day mothers” but for carers. Some of his parents were not apprehensive in leaving their children with a male carer.
In fact, when they arrived with their children, none of them seemed apprehensive; they came, paid and dropped off their children. They feel they are leaving the child with the “day father”. Toy libraries are a good place to get men started, as Bonga mentioned: “Mainly for men it’s the best way to start. You get to engage children in a playful manner.”
Men typically gravitate to playing with children; working with toys and play presents an opportunity that might be more appealing to men than starting in a more formal educational role. It’s important to acknowledge that adult engagement with children can be gender-biased. A structured gender socialisation programme will allow teachers to better understand gender and socialisation, and acquire a more progressive stance.
Balungile recalls: “My child’s mother had to return to work. It was tough… I would ask women in the neighbourhood to help me change nappies, but as time went on I decided this was something I could do myself.”
Some men also help to normalise men’s care work in the community, as indicated by Bonga: “We can break this barrier of men not being trusted, especially with the young guys who are the fathers of tomorrow.”
Where you place your child for care and early learning is crucial