Cape Argus

TURNED INTO CRIMINALS BY ILLOGICAL LAWS

- DAVID BIGGS dbiggs@glolink.co.za

HAVING too many laws does not make people more law-abiding. It makes them more cunning particular­ly when the laws don’t seem to be logical.

The banning of tobacco sales has not resulted in any significan­t drop in the number of smokers in the country.

I have not heard of any resultant reduction in lung diseases either. All it has done is turn cigarettes into illegal drugs, law-abiding consumers into criminals and revenue which would have gone to the taxman now going into the pockets of crooks.

The tobacco ban has simply created a new class of criminals. Ask any local resident where you can buy cigarettes and you’ll be told to stop at such and such a street corner and the vendor will meet you there. Chances are that whoever you ask will go one step further and say: “How many packets would you like?”

Nobody sees it as a crime.

The banning of public gatherings doesn’t make much sense either when workers travel to work in crowded taxis, sharing the viruses freely.

You can rub shoulders with 50 strangers in your local supermarke­t but may not gather with six family members for Sunday afternoon tea.

My friend John (no, not that John. This is a different John whom you do not know, and John is not his real name anyway) has been missing his regular social gatherings with friends, and thinks he may have solved the problem by arranging a series of weekly business symposia to discuss the future of commerce in South Africa.

Each symposium will feature a speaker on a relevant subject – the future of the wine industry, the effects of alcohol on family budgeting, changing pudding recipes in an alcohol-free world, and so on.

Meetings will be held at his home to prevent unnecessar­y contact, and delegates will wear masks.

Hands will be sanitised at the door. Interestin­gly, his list of invited delegates includes many of the friends who used to meet at the tavern every Friday afternoon.

Such devotion to duty is admirable.

John discovered that the word “symposium” comes from the ancient Greek word for “drinking together”.

A classical education is a useful qualificat­ion in almost any field.

Last Laugh

A man watched a huge funeral procession pass by. It was led by a brass band and the hearse was followed by a man leading a lion on a leash, followed by hundreds more marching people.

“What’s going on?” The bystander asked an official.

“A South African politician was eaten by a lion and is being given a state funeral,” he was told.

“Gosh,” he said, “I have a neighbour who is a Cabinet minister. Could I borrow that lion for a while?”

The official pointed at the long line of people in the procession. “You’ll have to stand at the end if the queue,” he said.

 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from South Africa