To bully others is a crime
We need to revisit our definition of violence and its normalisation
THE recent spate of school bullying incidents has left the country in shock, with parents and teachers grappling to understand the root causes of these unacceptable actions, especially among learners in our schools.
The incidents of bullying are not only limited to the school environment but manifest in the broader society. This begs the question: why the desire to inflict pain and harm on another person?
In light of the latest incidents of bullying, cellphone recordings and social media platforms have brought home the reality that on a daily basis children encounter various forms of harassment. These include but are not limited to social media harassment, sexual assault, physical, verbal and emotional abuse, and cyberbullying.
While bullying in schools has always been present, technology has exposed the severity of this scourge and highlights the critical importance of addressing the levels of violence and abuse experienced by some learners. The availability of the footage of such bullying also serves to humiliate the abused child with the video going viral.
It is the responsibility of the broader members of society to condemn bullying in whatever form and manifestation as well as whoever perpetrates this form of crime.
It is noteworthy these incidents of bullying can be complex, requiring interventions beyond punishment in order to rehabilitate rather than outright punish the offender.
Punitive measures must ensure that the offender is able to better integrate into society, rather than being ostracised, and resorting to violence once again to establish their authority.
As a society, we need to revisit our definition of violence and the normalisation of violence that allows acts of bullying and harassment to be dismissed or explained away.
In this context, parents, care-givers, family members and other members of society are often quick to downplay acts of abuse and sexual harassment through statements like: “it’s boys being boys” or “they are only playing” or “they don’t know any better because they are children”, or “I don’t know where they learn these things from. It must be television”.
Accordingly, the normalisation of violence by young boys might continue to be explained away by some parents and family members arguing that “they will grow up” or “he was drunk when he did that”.
All of us must stop normalising any form of violence against women and girls. We can’t continue denigrating women, and reducing them to sex objects.
It is imperative that the boundaries of acceptable behaviour are either taught firmly from a young age, or blurred with the consequence of this boy navigating life with a sense of patriarchal dominance over girls and women. This behaviour is then picked up and mimicked by younger boys who are also navigating the world of consent and socially acceptable behaviour.
It is unacceptable for any sector of our society to condone acts of violence, or use of force to show dominance over another.
As a society, we need to understand our definitions of violence, breaking from our past that has been, by default, patriarchal, and also critique our palate for violence to understand how we allow an environment in which micro acts of aggression and violence take place every day, with many explaining it away.
While we may be quick to take to social media to condemn acts of violence, let us look at our own homes, to see whether we inculcate patriarchal values, or promote misogynistic behaviour to protect the fragility of the male ego.
No parent in the world should be unfortunate enough to go through their child committing suicide. Our hearts bleed for the parents and family of Lufuno Mavhunga, and so many unknown victims of bullying.
Our singular goal should be to ensure no other child feels pushed to their breaking point to consider suicide. However, to take to social media to react to videos of bullying is not enough.
Introspection is needed to understand how building social cohesion and shedding patriarchal paradigms can set us on a path to prevention of these acts happening in the first place.
Let us work together to eradicate bullying in our life time.