LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE IN AFRICA

WHEN the coronavirus first breathed its toxic fumes over the planet many experts predicted that Africa would become the epicentre of the pandemic.

All the elements were there to fuel a catastrophe of unprecedented proportions – crowded informal settlements, poorly-equipped hospitals, poverty, poor communication and transport systems, shortage of oxygen equipment, corrupt leaders and the population’s general suspicion of authority.

The rich politicians of America and Europe shook their well-groomed heads sorrowfully and said things looked pretty grim for Darkest Africa. (Nobody can accuse Boris Johnson of being well-groomed, but he probably shook his head too anyway.) Now that the numbers are being added up there’s been a surprise. Africa has turned out to be the second least affected region in the world. (I’m not sure which region has emerged least affected, but I suspect it might be Antarctica).

I believe we Africans (oh yes, I regard myself as an African) might have got off relatively lightly for a simple reason – we are strong people.

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that millions of us have actually had Covid-19 and not realised it. I know several people who have been found Covid-positive and not suspected a thing.

There’s been a lot of talk about achieving “herd immunity” and I think the people of Africa may be reaching there. In richer countries the average citizens lead safe lives in sterile surroundings, eating hygienically packaged foods and consulting healthcare professionals for every twinge and sniffle.

They’re medicated up to the eyeballs. When their pampered bodies come into contact with a new germ or virus they react with shock and horror and become very sick. Many die.

Here in primitive old Africa our children live in crowded surroundings, happily sharing grubby bits of biltong from a dubiously laundered pocket and walking barefoot all summer on paths frequented by manky dogs and scruffy humans without a second thought.

By the time we reach adulthood we’ve become so used to germs and viruses that we can greet a newcomer like Covid with equanimity. We should always look on the bright side and maybe there’s a good side to a reasonable amount of dirt and squalor too.

Last Laugh

A city-born young woman was visiting a Karoo farm and accused the farmer of cruelty to his animals, because he cut off the tails of all his little lambs.

“My dear girl,” he said gently, “we’ve been cutting off the lambs’ tails for more than 50 years and they’re used to it by now.”