Women from all walks of life speak out about abuse and GBV

WHEN SECRETS BECOME STORIES

Sue Nyathi Jonathan Ball Publishers SA Review: Orielle Berry

SUE Nyathi is one of our most accomplished writers. Her contemporary African saga, A Family Affair, is delightful, and The Gold Diggers is a superbly evoked story of what it is to cross borders from Zimbabwe (the country of her birth) to South Africa, the notso-promised new land.

Her latest book, When Secrets Become Stories, tackles the scourge of gender-based violence (GBV).

In a recent tweet, Nyathi said: “GBV victims often don’t speak out because of fear & shame. They feel guilty, fear reprisal from their perpetrators, fear being ostracized & not believed.

“So remember that the next time your big mouth asks:

“Why did she wait so long?

“There is no right way to tell or time frame.”

In this collection, women from all walks of life boldly speak out about the cycle of abuse and GBV.

Contributors include Lorraine Sithole, Desiree-Anne Martin, Mamokgethi Phakeng, Shafinaaz Hassim, Cathy Park Kelly and Olivia Jasriel, who as a child was sexually abused by tennis star Bob Hewitt.

A young girl on the Cape Flats is given away in exchange for a bottle of alcohol, a woman is beaten by her boyfriend and told to bezekela (persevere), a businesswoman is asked for sexual favours to secure a contract, while a child rapist is released on bail after three years...

It’s common knowledge that South Africa is so much a country at war with its women.

Rarely can a woman be found who has not been victim to some kind of abuse, or does not know a friend or a family member who has.

GBV takes many forms – emotional, financial, physical, sexual, structural – and perpetrators can be strangers, intimate partners, or a family member.

Tragically, many women are overcome by a sense of shame when they are sexually or emotionally abused, and instead of remaining silent, sharing what was once a secret helps to break shame’s hold.

Nyathi writes: “I am not defined by the abuse I have suffered. I am not a victim; I am a survivor.”