Viewing miscarriage through a new lens
THOUGH the grief of having experienced three miscarriages is lonely and confusing, it brings mixed emotions and feelings filled with disappointment, self-blame, guilt and pity.
Although all three miscarriages had the same look and feel at times, the pain and cramps in the pelvic, severe back pain and vaginal bleeding all intensified as the miscarriage progressed. For us, women, it would be more manageable to store the events leading up to the miscarriage in our minds and label it as “unthinkable” than to relive them or simply think about the experience. But, does it have to be this way?
Miscarriage is a serious health issue that requires us to prioritise time by being aware about the ins and outs and being curious about solving our own problems, using our own thinking. I desperately wanted to close the awful chapter, so I attempted to understand the roots of it.
Despite talking to counsellors, family and friends, it was difficult for me to understand why it was happening to me. I knew I had followed the rule book by following strict eating habits and I was happy. For no apparent reason, the thought of being pregnant puts a smile on your face. It’s a given that I had many questions, but I was not prepared to accept the answers.
While coping with difficult emotions, you have support, which included repeatedly explaining the events up to the point of my miscarriage. Rather, allow yourself to rest and recover until you are ready to share your experience. When facing tough times, you may receive multiple sets of advice, it is always best to follow through what you think is best for you. After experiencing the anxiety associated with a miscarriage, it is all about what will provide you with peace of mind and calm. Realise that the fastest way to recovery is to make yourself the priority.
Notice how living in a materialistic world adds to our devastation. We are constantly being reminded of our worth and the importance of status in order to be in the loop of societal norms. When we turn to others for help during our depressive state, we must recognise that we are giving them the power to use our unstable state to gain the upper hand. It is important to prioritise our own well-being over seeking validation from others.
Life has a weird way of teaching you something important when you need unconditional love and support.
Despite your efforts, you cannot see a way out. As you take off the blindfold, you discover your true calling and loyal companions. Your loyal companions are those who prioritise your well-being and go beyond to meet your emotional needs, having faith in you to overcome this struggle.
I started to visualise a dream that offered a different reality, one that saw the world from a new angle. Looking through a new lens, I figured I had the power that lay within me. Why not use your inner strengths and come out stronger? To find light, you must commit to helping yourself. However, this does not depend on anything external, but on your inner attitude.
Having strong faith, we can meet sorrows with strength, disappointment is greeted with optimism, loss brings a sense of calm and failure boosts repeated determination. All the chaos we see is part of the shift. The sooner you navigate the new landscape, the sooner you can begin creating the life you have envisioned and, eventually, discover the light.
Begin by getting into the zone. Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. Now, imagine the feeling of being lifted by a wave in the ocean. The water surrounds you and lifts you up, bringing you to a sense of weightlessness. The sensation of receiving support and healing energy from another person should leave you feeling this way.
A plan has been written out for you by the higher power. It’s up to you to discover what it is.