Support your child in struggle for identity
WHERE do I begin? This is one of the hardest subjects to tackle because it deals with something deeper than anything else out there – the identity of an individual in conflict, in most cases, with themselves.
How does a parent of the individual deal with this, especially when they are expected to support their daughter or son in the process of accepting the gender that the state assigned to them at birth? It is hard for the children and for their parents.
When giving birth, the question society asks is: Is it a boy or girl? The answer depends on the genitals. That is how easy it is in the labour/delivery room. This individual, growing up, is confronted by emotions or feelings they cannot understand. They are then faced with an identity battle they hope you, as a parent, have a solution for to help them navigate this constant inner battle.
Do you say to this perfectly made individual you were pronounced a boy or girl and you are now the opposite of that? How does the child come back from such a betrayal from a figure that is supposed to be an embodiment of trust, and who stands with the world in adding confusion to a child in need of answers?
No matter the struggles children might face in life, we as parents must retain our role as parents.
We can support our children as best we can without betraying them. Without celebrating with the world what clearly would, in the long run, question the decisions they made when they were overwhelmed. We may be faced with accusations that we are not supportive enough but when we endure and love them, we can all win, without giving in to the pressure.
We cannot be allowed to be dictated to by any government, World Health Organisation, UN or medical doctors, because no amount of surgery can change a male into a female or female into a male. This is a lie they are desperately trying to sell by making it easier to get children and even adults to believe that they can be changed into someone else. The Department of Home Affairs even has the audacity to say identity documents can be altered to include many spaces for other sexes or none thereof.
We have a duty to love our children with all we have and that includes fighting for them, even when they believe they are right in what they are. We carried them for nine months. We cannot be shamed into being made to be seen as uncaring when we choose not to go with what the world wants for our children. Even if the children gave in and went with the world.
If you, as a parent, agreed with the world because of pressure from your child or the world, forgive yourself. We are at war. A war for our children.
If your child has made any physical change to themselves or is in the process of doing so, keep fighting for your child. Desire to have faith because it will not be easy to look at your child and hold out hope that things will turn around. Even with the physical change, fight for the spirit of your child. You are the parent.
You’ve witnessed the pain on your child’s face and the bewilderment when they thought you were rejecting them because you refused to sell them out. Therefore, faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen.