Going to the dogs

“GRAPEFRUIT must be dog-tired when he gets home,” a club player told me, “after all the barking and growling he does here.”

Grapefruit, our member with an acid tongue, makes his partners miserable. He was today’s East, and West led the king of diamonds against South’s three clubs. Grapefruit signaled with the eight, and West shifted to the ace of trumps.

UNBLOCK

Declarer unblocked dummy’s king, won the next trump in his hand and drew Grapefruit’s last trump. He next took dummy’s high spades. East’s jack fell, giving South nine tricks, and Grapefruit told West that he not only didn’t have both oars in the water, he couldn’t even find the boat.

“I’d have to see a palmist or a mind reader to find a winning defence,” West shot back.

“Try the palmist,” Grapefruit growled. “You have a palm. Granted, a mind reader might charge you half price.”

West beats the contract if he leads the nine of trumps at Trick Two. South must lose five tricks no matter how he proceeds. DAILY QUESTION: You hold: 875 A765 KQ95 A 9. Your partner opens one heart, and you bid 2NT, a conventional forcing heart raise. (A raise to three hearts would invite game.) Partner bids three diamonds. What do you say? ANSWER: After your 2NT response, partner’s bid in a new suit shows a singleton there. You can judge how well your hands fit together. Since your K-Q of diamonds are wasted, make no aggressive move. Bid four hearts to sign off. West dealer Both sides vulnerable

NORTH AHOY, DONAH, DOTH, HADRON, HAIR, HAIRDO, HAIRY, HAND, HANDY, HARD, HARDY, HART, HIND, HINT, HOAR, HOARD, HOARY, HORN, HORNY, HYDRA, HYDRANT, HYDRATION, HYDRO, HYOID, NORTH, OATH, RATH, RHINO, TAHR, THAI, THAN, THAR, THIN, THIRD, THORIA, THORN, THORNY, THYROID, TORAH