Make going to school for first time child’s play
Former teacher has devised 10 tips for parents who are taking their children to school for the first time this month
Meet the teacher beforehand. Many schools have “open” days for students who have been accepted and will gladly answer any questions you have. Alternatively, ask for a tour of the school and enquire about aftercare if need be, sports and so forth. Ask as many questions as you have and introduce your child to his or her new teacher before the official first day of school. Find out about stationery requirements, when school fees are due and school terms. Remember, many teachers have been through this same day with numerous generations of pupils so they are well-equipped to handle first-day jitters, from both parents and children!
Routine is important. Instil it a few weeks before school starts. Begin telling your child about what time he/she will have to be up, start putting out the school uniform, lunchbox, etc. Tell the child who will drop him/ her off at school and then again pick him/her up in the afternoon. Ask the child what he/she wants on their sandwiches, what flavour of fruit juice, etc. Make them part of the decision-making process to make them feel empowered. Try a “dry run” via car for a day or two to show him/her the route, how much traffic will be around etc.
Most children who go to Grade 1 are still used to napping in the afternoon. Your child will be exhausted in the afternoon on coming home so allow for nap time if possible to avoid grumpiness!
Schools have set break times and children are asked to pick up after themselves, so ensure that your child can follow polite requests and regular times, including those set aside by the teacher for toilet breaks. Many primary schools which I have visited have toilet visits class by class so remind your child that he or she will have to follow suit even if they do not need the loo.
Please watch your own behaviour and comportment – kids pick up very quickly when we as adults are stressed so please try as much as possible to be positive and cheerful about this new phase in both your lives!
Make friends with other parents in same class – Khensani, a much-loved young girl I used to babysit and sometimes drop off and pick up from school had an amazing class teacher who encouraged parents and children to engage and fostered community spirit by giving each parent a few sheets of A4 paper on which, in table form, was the child's name, surname, parents names, telephone numbers at work and home, e-mail and addresses (for future play dates). This list was always accessible by being stuck to the fridge door!
Don't just say “don't worry” if a child expresses fear of the unknown, this minimises what may be a painful or anxious time for them. Role play scenarios, talk it out. Say “I can feel that this is worrying you, do you want to talk about it? Maybe we can come up with a solution together,” or “I will pretend to be a girl who has been placed to sit next to you and we have just met. What would you say to me?”
Any medical issues such as having an inhaler or food or other allergies (or a medical certificate for a weak bladder or taking medication at certain intervals) should be communicated to both the school and the class teacher. Thus the child knows that if anything happens, the adults are aware of it and can handle the situation calmly.
Have cloth labels printed (with emergency contact numbers on them) and sew them into your child's jersey, shirt, skirt, school bag, etc. Show the child so that they are reassured that even if they cannot recall their home numbers or the parents' work numbers, if anything should happen, they will always have the numbers on them. A friend has ADD and ADHD children and when in a full-blown panicked state at inter-house athletics once, one boy could not recall his mom's (my friend's) number at work to ask her to fetch him. It took him an hour to calm down enough to recall her number. If your child has a diary, enter all pertinent information in the relevant sections there as well.
If you are lucky enough to be close by your child's school and choose to walk with your child daily, purchase fun fluorescent smiley faces that can be stuck to the back of their school bag or sew a few small pieces from fabric shops on to clothing to make them visible and safe.
And let the child walk on the “inside”, that is, with you closest to the road. Make this walk a fun time, asking the child what they feel will lie ahead for the day and what happened at school on the way home too. Time like this is precious and we too often take it for granted. If you can do this with your child, you are blessed!