A foot­ball book that will have you in stitches

Cape Times - - BOOKS -

HOW TO BE A FOOT­BALLER Peter Crouch Loot.co.za (R256) EBURY

WHO knew that a foot­baller could be funny? Peter Crouch is the bean­pole striker who has played for Eng­land 42 times and holds the record for the most headed goals in Premier League his­tory – mainly be­cause he was so much taller than every­one else.

And now, he turns out to be a gen­uine droll with a gim­let eye for the ab­surd. This isn’t an au­to­bi­og­ra­phy, more a se­ries of hu­mor­ous ob­ser­va­tions. What you re­alise, as you laugh out loud, is that foot­ball has been taken too se­ri­ously by too many peo­ple for too long. Plan your goal cel­e­bra­tion wisely, other­wise you’ll look like a prawn.

Tat­toos are ridicu­lous:


Nile Ranger has “Ranger” tat­tooed across his face. Crouch writes: “I don’t un­der­stand this one… surely he’s not go­ing to need re­mind­ing of his own name.” En­dorse­ments, clothes, hair­cuts, Steven Ger­rard: all come un­der the un­for­giv­ing Crouch gaze. Most other foot­ball books wither by com­par­i­son.


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