What’s Your Dating Strategy?
While getting dressed for a meet-up, your style MO is:
Whatever is free of wine stains. Playing the ield has your closet in ruins.
A classy jumpsuit and killer heels. They say to dress for the date you want, and you’re shooting for a grand tour of a penthouse.
The sweatshirt your grandmother wore when she locked eyes with Gramps. It’s sure to also summon The One for you.
After a fun time with someone new, you:
Trade flirty emoji, then set up your next big night out.
Send friendly reminders of your awesomeness, like your crazy-soft linen sheets and great Uber passenger rating.
Take no action. If it’s truly meant to be, you’ll surely bump into each other again.
You’re at a wedding and feeling horny. Who do you approach?
The DJ, to request Cardi B. Her music switches on your magnetic aura. Let them lock!
The guest with Clooney’s style and Prince William’s poise. You will not deviate from your criteria.
The mother of the bride. Surely she has some sage wisdom and stellar dating advice after watching her own daughter get successfully hitched.
A hottie at the bar goes in for a (sloppy) kiss. You:
Wonder if you can put all those G&Ts on their tab.
Flee to the ladies’ room so you can add this prospect to your spreadsheet of makeout rankings.
Peel them o and pray your soul mate appears.
You have been swiping for 30-plus minutes and feel kinda:
Euphoric. The only other place with this many shirtless pics is Bieber’s Insta.
Undaunted. There’s a reason your index inger has a major callus.
Over it. There’s not a single great love story that begins with ‘Once upon a swipe’.