Taken with a pinch of salt
ICAME across an article on idiosyncratic table manners the other day; the way some people eat or behave during a meal, and it got me thinking. When I was growing up, the family all sat down at the dining-room table where manners were drummed into us. How often do we do that today? Seldom, I believe. The pace of life is not what it was. Realistically, it’s pretty frenetic in the nuclear family and the only time they might all be together is in the evening. However, mother works, dad works and the children too. Dad comes home late and flops into a chair. Mum had to pick up the kids from school and do a bit of shopping, and the children are tired after sport or extramural activities and have homework to do.
So they eat on the run, snacking on chips, bread and peanut butter and mum tears her hair out when they sit in front of the television and fight over the programmes. Dining-rooms and table manners are obsolete.
“Don’t eat with your mouth open,” I can hear my mother saying. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” – “Wipe your lips with your serviette, not your sleeve.” – “If you want to leave the table, excuse yourself.” – “Don’t hold your knife like a pencil.” – “Close your mouth when you chew.”
Of course she didn’t say them together, she wasn’t grouchy, but they all come to mind. Manners, it is said, maketh man (and women too of course!) So what are some other peoples’ mealtime rules? Here are various do’s and don’ts to avoid offending your hosts in other countries.
In Korea you should not begin eating until the eldest male starts his meal, and if he offers a drink, accept it with both hands. In Japan, chopsticks are traditionally used to pass bones at funerals, so should never be used to pass food. Never eat from a fork in Thailand, it should only be used to put food on the spoon you eat from. In Britain soup is sipped from the side of the soup spoon (they’re round there) and both spoon and bowl should be tilted away from you if you want to be considered refined.
Be careful about which hand you pick up your food with in Arabian countries. The left hand is strictly taboo since that one is reserved for toilet duties and is therefore considered unclean. Oops, I’m left-handed, but surely they wash them. In Chile hands are out, eating is a cutlery only affair. Italians love their food, but if offered a meal, decline politely. If it’s offered again, you should always accept. However, asking for extra cheese is insulting. Punctuality is generally appreciated, but not in Tanzania where it is an insult to your host. It’s polite to be 20 minutes late. (Must be an African thing!)
Lunch is taken leisurely in France and rushing is considered rude, so enjoy the slow pace of the meal. Another quirk . . . in France, Japan and other countries, a clean plate signals you’ve enjoyed the meal, however in some other cultures your host will think they haven’t fed you enough.
In India and China it’s polite to burp after you’ve eaten. It tells your host you’ve been well fed. That’s taken even further in Inuit (Eskimo) society where a fart indicates appreciation. Gross! My old mother would surely have had something to say about that. And would somebody pass the salt please! Chiel today is Robin Ross-Thompson;