’I promised I’d look after the kids’
After a simple scratch sustained while gardening killed her sister, Caroline MacKim had the difficult job of breaking the news to her children, she tells What actually causes sepsis
WHEN Caroline MacKim received a phone call from her younger sister in March last year complaining about a pain in her arm, she thought nothing of it. Lucy Smith, 43, was a fit and healthy mother to two young children. She complained of a sore shoulder and a slight graze on her hand from gardening, and the sisters assumed it was a trapped nerve.
When Smith went to see her GP, she was diagnosed with exactly that. But the pain in Smith’s arm worsened, and three days later, when she began vomiting and her arm became red and badly swollen, she went back to the doctor’s. This time, she was told to go straight to her local emergency unit Essex, in the United Kingdom. It was there that she was diagnosed with sepsis – where the body over-reacts to an infection, shutting down vital organs. She had developed the infection as a result of the scratch on her hand from weeding her vegetable garden. Also known as blood poisoning or septicaemia, sepsis can be lifethreatening if not treated quickly. Smith was immediately put on intravenous antibiotics.
“The hospital staff made it seem as though she would be fine,” says MacKim. “We thought she would be okay, and Lucy kept telling us not to worry. She was more preoccupied with her children.”
While Smith was in hospital, with her mother and fiancé Darren at her bedside, MacKim looked after the couple’s two children: Megan, then seven, and George, then five. She made sure to send their mother pictures of them playing with their cousins in the park, and making cards in preparation for the coming Easter Sunday, when they would all go and visit her in hospital. But tragically, that promised visit never came. On Wednesday April 1 2015, just a week after Smith had scratched her hand, MacKim received a phone call from her mother in the middle of the night to say that her sister had suddenly died.
“I was absolutely numb,” she recalls. “The children were sleeping, so I ran out of the house and sat outside crying my eyes out. I couldn’t believe someone who was just there, so lovely and vibrant and such a strong, happy person, was suddenly gone. She was my best friend. We spoke every day. I thought we’d get all old and wrinkly together. I still can’t quite believe I will never see her again.”
When Smith died, MacKim and her husband Kip were still taking care of Megan and George, so they were forced to put on a brave face while they dealt with their grief and made plans for the funeral. It wasn’t until a couple of days later, on Easter Sunday, that the whole family came together for lunch and told the children what had happened.
MacKim cries as she remembers the moment. “We got them their teddies and blankets and we said: ‘You know Mummy has been in hospital. Well, the doctors couldn’t make her better. She’s had to go and live with Grandad and be an angel.’
“Megan shouted ‘no’ and ran straight into the toilet. She was retching. George curled up in a little ball on the sofa and cried. He didn’t really know what was happening.
“It’s awful. As much as Darren is a fantastic dad, they’ll never have a mum. They’ll never know how much they have missed out.”
Lucy, a solicitor, had been with Darren, an antique floor restorer, for 11 years. The couple were planning to marry, and had just achieved their long-term goal of buying a house together when Smith caught sepsis. She never had a chance to move into her dream home, or see it fully renovated, and it is only recently that Darren and the children have moved in.
“It’s still hard for me to go there,” admits MacKim. “I can see her there in my head, scraping the walls and smiling at me, all excited about the house. It drives it home how much we’ve all lost. Mum has lost her daughter, Darren has lost his fiancée and the person he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with, I’ve lost my best friend and the children have lost their mother. But Lucy has lost the most, because she had such an amazing life and those children were the centre of her world, and she’s just lost everything. That’s what hurts me the most.”
Megan and George live with their father, but MacKim sees them regularly and is there if ever they need a mother figure. It is a promise that she and Smith made to each other years ago; that if anything happened to either of them, they would take care of each other’s children.
“We’re doing what Lucy would have wanted,” says MacKim. “Megan comes up for girly weekends, and we’re all really close. The children are starting to talk about Lucy more now. But I think they feel a lot inside that we won’t ever know. I think Megan’s very angry, while George has a lot of questions.
“At Easter he asked his teacher: ‘If Jesus can come back, why can’t Mummy? Can’t we have a miracle for her?’, and recently, when my mum told him off for sticking his head outside the car window, he said: ‘If I died, I’d be in heaven with Mummy and I’d like that. I miss her.’”
More than a year on, the family are keen to raise awareness of sepsis – and use Smith’s story to prevent further tragedies.
“I know everyone’s busy but if you cut yourself, do wipe it and put some antiseptic on it,” says MacKim. “Don’t just think, ‘I’ll have a look at that later.’ Sepsis is much more widespread than most people – even doctors – realise. “I’m not blaming anyone, but if the doctor had checked Smith’s vitals, they might have been able to catch it. I honestly think she could still be here today if she was treated quicker.”
She is speaking out in Smith’s memory, and thinks her sister would approve: “She was an intelligent, articulate, tenacious woman.
“I miss her every single day. But she didn’t give up, and if telling her story helps anyone in any tiny way, it will be worth it.” — The Daily Telegraph ● SEPSIS occurs when an infection – usually caused by bacteria – enters the body and the immune system over-reacts, attacking its own tissues and major organs.
Unless treated promptly with fluids and antibiotics, this can lead to multiple organ failure.
For every hour of delay, a patient’s chance of dying increases by 8%.
● Sepsis can start as a result of a seemingly minor infection, such as a simple skin cut or bite, a chest or urine infection or even a sore throat, and the problem is often misdiagnosed.
● Early signs include a high or low body temperature, chills and shivering and a raised heartbeat.
This may develop to dizziness, nausea or vomiting, slurred speech, severe muscle pain, severe breathlessness, not passing urine for a day, and cold, clammy and pale skin.
If any of these signs are accompanied with any sign of infection or injury, seek medical attention immediately.
● Anyone can develop sepsis, but the very young or very old are most vulnerable, as are people with weakened immune systems or who have recently had surgery, or those already in hospital with a serious illness. — The Daily Telegraph