Parents’ anguish over drug-addicted children
One mother shares heartbreak of teenager committing suicide and another of her son becoming a ‘monster’
On Sunday, a distraught East London mother will bury her son, who took his own life after battling drug addiction for years.
She is also taking care of her older son, another addict, and four younger children.
The mother said her second-born son, 19 at the time, had looked like “a zombie” in August 2021.
She then sent him to a rehab centre in Cofimvaba.
“I could barely recognise him. He was dirty and smelly and always wanted money to smoke.
“He had starting losing his mind..
“I spent maybe R80,000 for his rehab stay from the money I made from selling my twobedroom house.
“I didn’t know my money would go to waste,” the woman told the Dispatch this week.
Her son started using crystal meth — tik — in 2019, at about the same time her older son, now 23, also became hooked on the drug.
“When he came out of rehab after six months, I was happy. I thought to myself now that is the son I raised.
“He promised he would never smoke again,” the unemployed woman said.
“Their father used to give them R1,500 each and when they started smoking they would use it to feed their habit.
“When he stopped sending money, they sold all their clothes to buy the drug.
“They stole money from me, sold their stepfather’s tools and house items such as a sound system.”
After her younger son — who went as far as Grade 12 in school — was released from rehab, he found a job on an orange farm in Addo.
“He sent money home the first month and I was happy. The next month he started reverting to his old ways.”
He returned home in June.
“I had hoped he would change forever,” the distraught mother said.
She now lives in a shack with her four other children.
She said she would beg her sons to quit smoking tik and they had promised they would.
“But then they would continue again. They would get so angry when I asked them why they smoked, and deny they did it.
“I wouldn’t wish that on any parent. That is painful.
“You sit home not knowing if they will come home, or come home alive.”
She said drugs were readily available in the area.
“My older son is now living in my village in Tsomo with my sister.
“I’m getting reports he has stopped smoking now,” she said.
While growing up, the older son, who excelled in school, wanted to become a doctor.
The younger son wanted to be a carpenter.
“He could make cupboards and stuff,” his mother said.
She said she had told her four younger children, aged eight, 10, 12 and 14 to learn from their brothers’ mistakes.
“They have seen what drugs did to them. I tell them about the dangers of drugs.
“I raised my sons well. They didn’t lack anything they needed.
“I wish efforts could be made by everyone to stop the selling of drugs. Drugs are destroying our children.”
The mother’s experience is not unique, with drug abuse occurring across the province. More than 1,000 people have been treated in Eastern Cape state health facilities for drug abuse between January and October 2022.
This is according to provincial health department spokesperson Yonela Dekeda, who commented to the Dispatch as part of our special investigation into the drug scourge that is destroying young lives.
Dekeda said drug abuse was no longer an urban-based challenge but also common in rural communities.
“These high numbers continue to put extreme pressure on our health facilities,” she said.
The numbers translate into trauma and despair for many addicts and their relatives.
Families have shared their agony with the Dispatch, describing spending years and thousands of rands seeking help for their drug-addicted children.
In Mthatha, Likhona Jwayela, who turned 18 in July, was admitted to one of the best universities to study law, but his addiction will prevent him from pursuing his degree.
Drugs affected his schooling for four years, starting in 2019.
After his mother noticed he was using drugs, she sent him to a boarding school in Mthatha to get him away from his drugabusing friends.
But then things got worse.
He said: “While at boarding school in 2019 my smoking and drug habits increased.
“I had a circle of friends I smoked tik with. “We bunked classes so we could do drugs. “We would use money from home to buy drugs.
“When smoking one becomes happily hyped and says the whole world belongs to you.
“My body quickly got used to it and I became some sort of addict.
“When you have shutdowns or rave for more drugs you just become so angry and violent and in that moment you can kill an elephant or a lion.
“You have anger issues, and your anger is easily triggered.”
In March 2019, he dropped out of school in Grade 10, when he and three friends were expelled from the hostel.
“We stole cellphones and everything of worth from the hostel while everyone was in class.
“We needed money for drugs. That day was the day that turned my life upside down,” he said.
Back home with his single mother, he stole everything he could from her.
He even assaulted her and pinned her down to the floor.
In March 2020, his mother, Xoliswa Jwayela, 44, opened a case against him at the Mthatha Central police station, and he was taken to a rehab centre in Qumbu. Months later he came back unchanged. His mother fought back tears while speaking about her son’s addiction and changed behaviour.
“This was not my Likhona, but a monster who attacked me and insulted me.
“This was not the son I raised, not the son I gave birth to. I was scared of that monster.”
Jwayela realised he could have killed his mother had he had a gun or knife.
“It was then I started to seek assistance,” he said.
He has now been clean for three months after spending six months at sangoma Nomthandazo Sivumele Sokhanyile’s traditional healing centre in Chris Hani Park in Mthatha.
“I am tired of the drug life and scared that I will die or kill someone.
“I took a conscious decision to book myself into a rehab and my mother supported me.”