The ‘fire pit four’ join pantheon of great sporting mishaps and injuries
The now infamous early morning shenanigans of four Munster players, involving a fire pit, a container of petrol and no doubt some alcohol, are already the stuff of dubious legend.
Damian de Allende, RG Snyman, CJ Stander and Mike Haley all suffered burns that fortunately have been described as “superficial” when one of them tried to, er, add fuel to the fire. The petrol ignited, the canister was dropped and splashed burning streams over the players.
The burns were severe enough to rule the players out of selection for at least one match, although it could be longer depending on whether there are complications because of infection.
As sporting mishaps go, it is right up there with some of the best (worst?), and one that we will all chuckle about around a braai in future because, ultimately, it was harmless.
But it got me thinking about other bizarre sports injuries and how athletes, who put their bodies through so much pain and stress when training and competing, are often felled by something completely unrelated to their sport.
Take former Ospreys and Wales hooker
Scott Baldwin, for instance. On a trip with his club to Bloemfontein in 2017, the tourists were treated to a visit to a nearby lion sanctuary. The cats were caged and appeared docile enough. The owners of the venue issued strict instructions on numerous occasions to the players to resist the temptation to pet the lions.
But Baldwin, living up to the hard-earned stereotype of front rowers not being the brightest, decided to pet a young male lying against the bars of the cage. In a flash the lion snapped at the arm that dared to touch his mane and Baldwin was left with a deep gash that required surgery. He lived to tell the tale but it cost him weeks out of the game and a lifetime of ribbing from his teammates.
Most bizarre sports injuries occur around the house, or in some other domestic setting. Very few involve wild animals. It’s amazing how many athletes have been injured when reaching for remote controls on their sofas or just sitting on their couches in general.
Former Manchester United and England defender Rio Ferdinand managed to strain knee ligaments by the strenuous act of putting his feet up on the coffee table while watching telly. As I approach 50, I can fully understand this happening – writing this now, I’m stretching my stiffening left knee – but it’s an odd thing to happen to a worldclass athlete in his prime.
Yet writing can be a dangerous pursuit. Former England seam bowler Derek Pringle managed to injure his back when writing a letter on a typewriter. It forced him out of one Test but, on the up side, Pringle has gone on to become a respected cricket writer.
Sometimes, though, the injuries are from athletes being a little more active than lounging on the sofa or tackling a letter.
Former world tennis number one Kim Clijsters managed to twist her ankle while dancing barefoot at her cousin’s wedding. That’s not terribly unusual, although someone then stomped on her toe to further enhance the injury, taking it to another level.
Mixed martial arts fighter Bryce Mitchell was doing some DIY around the house and, standing on a ladder, placed the power drill he was using in his pocket while he fiddled with a board. The drill inexplicably started up and cut a hole in his scrotum. The tough fighter had to put the drill in reverse gear to dislodge it from his nether regions, which, not surprisingly, required stitching.
Even doing the most mundane and basic of human activities can be harmful for a luckless athlete. Take Manchester United’s Darren Fletcher. He was sitting on the toilet when the stall door collapsed and hit him on the head. He required stitches.
Travel is also a part of an athlete’s regime and aeroplane food is notoriously bad, but in 1992 Atlanta Braves pitcher Tom Glavine not only contracted food poisoning from the food on a flight, but the subsequent vomiting caused him to fracture two ribs, ruling him out for several weeks.
What is it with Manchester United players anyway? Former goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw in a match. Not so unusual, you say. Well, if he had been kicked in the face, or crashed into a post it might not have been unusual, but Stepney injured his jaw by screaming at his centre backs. Hopefully they got the message.
The “fire pit four”, as the Munster quartet have now become known, can at least take solace that their burns occurred around a fire and were inflicted by real flames. Former Baltimore Orioles baseballer Marty Cordova suffered facial burns that ruled him out of several games – but not because of a fire. He fell asleep under tanning lights.
In 1990, England football captain Bryan Robson was trying to get a young Paul Gascoigne out of bed. The youngster, known for his partying lifestyle, wouldn’t stir, so Robson tried tipping the bed, which he then dropped on his foot, breaking his toe.
And Stoke City’s Liam Lawrence missed most of the season after tripping over his dog and falling down the stairs. But, months later, he returned and marked his comeback with a goal, leading to this fabulous headline in the UK Mirror: “Stoke 1-0 Blackburn: Dogged Liam Lawrence bites Rovers.”
We can see the “fire pit four” headlines already.
Craig Ray is the sports editor of Daily Maverick.