Solving the mystery of Gqeberha

WHERE on Earth is Gqeberha?

Do you know? I know virtually all the towns and cities in our country. But Gqeberha? Where or what is this tongue-twisting place which has cropped up suddenly on the weather report and news channels before the local elections? I was baffled. Then I figured out it could be a place in the Eastern Cape.

Could it then be Cradock, King William’s Town or Grahamstown?

At my wit’s end I decided to ask Google who gave me a telling off. Hey, you fool, do you not know your ANC government has changed Port Elizabeth to Gqeberha?

Really, Port Elizabeth is Gqeberha? I was flabbergasted.

Apparently, Gqeberha is the Xhosa name of the river that runs through Port Elizabeth. I would not be surprised that this river has become a sewer.

I think the name change was a political ploy to woo the voters before the municipal elections.

Just a name change and voilà! Port Elizabeth would become a sparkling, new city.

It changes names of streets, cities and buildings to honour its heroes. It even digs up old bones of its heroes resting in foreign lands and brings them back to our country and inters them after a costly ceremony.

It is easier than maintaining buildings and infrastructure, fixing potholes, broken street lights, overflowing sewage and unkempt pavements and verges.

Remember how the ANC threw out the old education system which was functioning well and thrust the OBE onto our schools? Suddenly, standards became grades, subjects, learning areas, results became outcomes and passed became progressed. Remarkably, there were no failures. And the outcome? Education went into a tailspin and children left school unable to read, write and do maths.

As much as the ANC wants to erase the colonial past by name changes, the cities and towns stand there as proud symbols of the colonial masters.

If it really wants to eradicate the colonial past, it should uproot all the cities and towns and transport them back to England and Europe!

Rather than making meaningful changes that will improve the lives of the masses it indulges in frivolous activities, making cosmetic changes to hoodwink the gullible masses.