Time to hear the inner whisper

IT WAS in 1970, 52 years ago, that I sat for my Matric examinations, in a far-flung boarding school, Healdtown High School, started by Methodist Missionaries during the 100 years of the Eastern Frontier Wars, ( 17811878) in 1855. Incidentally, it is the very same school where Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela did his matric, years earlier than me.

In our time, we had no guidance as to what lay ahead, neither from our teachers nor from anyone else. In fact life to us was such a struggle that you would prefer not to think about the period.

For example, coming from Cape Town and having done subjects like Biology, History and Latin, in English, we were confronted with the implementation of the policy by the Nationalist government to introduce parity in the use of the two official languages, English and Afrikaans, by forcing black students to do some subjects in Afrikaans.

Now with the benefit of hindsight, it is clear to see, this was the planting of the bomb, which simmered until it exploded in 1976, with protests by black students , which in turn changed the country,s history.

Because of my aptitude in Latin, when our class teacher passed away, before the final exams, I was asked by my classmates to help them with revision work, rather than allow any of the Afrikaner teachers to take over the class in Afrikaans.

Imagine a subject like Latin, which is difficult in itself and you have been studying it in English, now you have to change over and do it in Afrikaans, not by choice, but being forced to do so against your will. What an absurdity?

We chose to resist this imposition of the use of the language , simply for ideological reasons. We knew little about basic truths such as that:

In every single think you do , you are choosing a direction for your life:

Your life is a product of choices, we make thousands of them, big and small, starting from the moment we wake up in the morning, until we close them at night;

Each day we are faced with choices to make, willy nilly;

A decision can be about small things like what to wear or big things like where to live and whether to have children;

No matter how big or small , everyone has both the obligation and right to make these decisions for themselves , until the time comes to close your eyes permanently;

And no one can take obligations and rights away from you.

Where you are right now you are a direct result of the choices you have made up to this point in your life.

At the time some choices might have seemed inconsequential, while others were major life choices.

But in the end , all of these choices , combined together, create the person you are today and the life you live. Hence Nelson Mandela said: “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears “.

As humans we make good and bad choices. Good choices, on the one hand, are the decisions that keep you heading in the direction, in which you want to go.

Bad choices , on the other hand, end up being counterproductive and can quickly begin spiraling into stress, confusion and depression, in extreme cases suicides. Over time even our smallest decisions can cause big disruptions, if we are paying close enough attention.

Each choice we make is followed by its consequences, and the two are inseparable.

Once a choice is made the consequences follow inexorably. We can change our choices (repent) after realising that we did wrong, but we cannot change the consequences of our choices and decisions.

Here are a few tips that might help you, at this juncture, in your life , where you are at a crossroads and to proceed, you must choose a particular direction. Life is like a maze, which has a myriad of routes to take to a particular destination, in which a rat must choose a particular direction to get there.

There are many “dead ends”, as it were.

Most people hit these dead ends/ cul de sacs and get thoroughly frustrated and give up on life. We are born with an inherent capacity to make choices. From birth we are not programmed to live like robots; we were made to exercise our free will;

When at a loss, ask yourself, in earnest, what you should decide, and if you listen carefully, a small still voice will whisper to you what you should do. Listen to it, even it is saying what you would not like to hear; never ignore or suppress the gentle whisper – it may lead you to your destiny.

Keep your ears and eyes open, and you will find some direction.

Don’t be too hard on yourself – everyone makes bad decisions sometimes; we are not omniscient. Only God is, and we are not Him.

Take counsel from parents first, and from siblings, relatives and people you trust who have your interests at heart. (There is a Xhosa idiomatic expression that says: Inyathi ibuzwa kwabangaphambili – meaning, loosely translated, “you ask for direction from those who have trodden the road before“or learning from the old hand.

For choice of subjects that will lead you to your career, take advice. You are about to make a major decision that will determine your life.

Believe in something that anchors you in life, you cannot afford to be floating around like a cork at sea blown by every wind , this way and that way, without an anchor, life can be rough.

Before making a decision on your choice, make a sober and realistic assessment of the likely consequences that might flow from your decisions, instead of leaping into the abyss, as it were. It is in only in movies where the main character stands on the edge of the cliff, looks down at the bottom of the waterfall, and dives down, headlong into the pool of water, having no idea of what could be in the pool, perhaps a rock with a sharp edge, that could end his/her life, and never live to tell the tale. In life, take calculated risks only, to live long.

Soren Kiekergaard said : “The thing is to understand myself, to see what God really wishes me to do … to find the idea for which I can live and die”.

So, make a realistic and sober assessment of yourself, your prospects of success and seek help, if needs be.

After completing my Junior Certificate , I overheard my friends talking about going to a boarding school in the Eastern Cape I decided I was going to go with them, and got the necessary permission from my parents to so so, a decision that has taken me to where I am today, and what I have been able to accomplish with my life.

In March this year my wife and I were invited to an annual Gala Dinner organised by the Healdtown Alumni, for me to address the gathering as the guest speaker, fifty two years since I left the school, another circle completed.

Imagine a subject like Latin, which is difficult in itself, and you have been studying it in English. Now you have to change over and do it in Afrikaans, not by choice, but by being forced to do so against your will. What an absurdity.

Always keep this powerful vision in front of your eyes, well-articulated by Henry David Thoreau: “If one advances confidently in the direction of his/her dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he/she has imagined, he/she will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

“He /she will pass an invisible boundary ; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him/ her; and he/she will live the license of a higher order of beings.”

Always bear in mind that life is not a sprint, but more of a marathon.

You are only at preparation stage now, to be followed by making a success of your life, then followed by living a life of significance in creating a legacy, and the final stage of surrender towards the end of your life.

(These are the four stages of life – Bob Buford, Half Time), Whereas William Shakespeare, in As You Like It , describes seven stages of life as :infancy, schoolboy, lover, soldier, middle age, decline and old age.

So take a long-term view of your journey and look forward to a great adventure.