The South African Way
IT WOULD make our lives a lot easier if we were given an idea of how long the current Eskom crisis is likely to last. If we know we are going to suffer Eskom’s rolling blackouts for the rest of the year, or longer, we will at least be able to plan to install solar-powered lights or buy generators.
However, if those mamparas in the Eskom power stations can at least find out what’s wrong with their generators, they might be able to tell us when they’ll be able to fix them.
Even shoemakers and cellphone repairers are obliged to tell their customers more or less how long the job will take. Eskom just keeps us in the dark. Literally.
If the Eskom spanner jockeys need to order spare parts, the suppliers can surely provide approximate delivery dates. Every machine devised by the human race is assembled by humans.
An old mechanic friend of mine once told me: “If humans put it together, humans can take it apart. And once it’s taken apart you can see why it is not working and replace the faulty bits. It’s as simple as that.” It made sense to me.
The generating units at Eskom were presumably put together by humans. Are there no humans clever enough to take them apart?
What happened to the guys who originally assembled and installed them? Didn’t they make notes?
I suspect that the people who knew about electricity generation were fired and replaced by people who know about politicians. That’s the South African Way. I’d love to see a breakdown of how many Eskom employees sit behind desks in big offices drinking tea and how many actually know anything about generating electricity. I believe it would make interesting reading.
I believe this could be why President Ramaphosa plans to split Eskom into three divisions – basically those who generate the electricity, those who distribute it and those who collect the money for it.
The only problem I see with this is that it could end up needing three fat-cat bosses instead of one and three separate trade unions to ensure that nothing gets done.
In our bizarre economy, you can fire a qualified electrical engineer without a qualm, but if you fire the deputy assistant tea-lady on the staff of the assistant under-secretary to the deputy director, three trade unions will march in protest to the Union Buildings, bringing the entire country to a standstill.
It’s the South African Way.
Last Laugh
They say that crime is pretty bad in some Cape Town suburbs.
A Joburg guy found himself in a bar on the Cape Flats late one Saturday evening.
He was enjoying his first drink when a tough-looking thug slipped into the seat next to him and murmured: “Psst, buddy, you want to buy a solid gold ring? Only fifty bucks.”
“That depends,” said the Gauteng visitor. “I’d have to see the ring first.”
“No problem,” said the thug. “Don’t look now, but the guy on your left is wearing it.”