Pam Gillingham, director of Families South Africa, says it’s never a bad idea to leave a cheating husband. Having an exit plan is important, though, and it should include a place to stay and a measure of financial security.
If a wife decides to stay with her cheating husband, there is no guarantee that he won’t be caught with his pants down again, she warns.
“In many situations, it’s a pattern of behaviour rather than a once-off scenario. As a cheated wife, it’s imperative you make it clear you won’t tolerate his humiliating behaviour. It’s also important to speak to someone and seek counselling.” If you do decide to stay, trust will have to be earned again, Pam says. “The way in which it can be re-earned is through time and evidence of real change. There needs to be a sense that the cheater has recognised his behaviour is wrong and is working on changing that.
“If this is not the case, the actions are likely to resurface in future and trust will be broken once again.”