“Most people tend to express their needs indirectly or in a way that blames the other – you never buy me flowers, for example,” says Larissa. “Others expect their partners to know what they want – this is usually expressed as ‘if he loves me he should know what I like/want’.”
If you want your needs fulfilled, you need to express them clearly, she says. An effective expression of a need has three components: what you want, why it’s important to you, and how you’ll feel if it’s fulfilled.
“For example, ‘I would appreciate it if you would make dinner one evening a week. I feel overwhelmed with all the household chores and it would give me a chance to sort out the washing a bit earlier.’”
GO WITH THE FLOW