QI’m 23 years old and I have a child. My boyfriend re­ally loves me and our son, and in Oc­to­ber he’s com­ing for the lobola nego­tia­tions.

I’m work­ing and he’s help­ing me with the child as well but his fam­ily hates me. They even say they hate their son be­cause he loves me. He keeps telling me he’s not giv­ing up on us but I feel re­ally bad for him be­cause I know he’s hurt by the way they’re treat­ing him.

Is there any­thing I can do to make things bet­ter? LM, EMAIL

AYour boyfriend is stuck be­tween a rock and hard place. He’s torn be­tween you and his fam­ily be­cause both of you are im­por­tant in his life and he loves you both.

I must com­mend you for the sup­port you’re giv­ing him. Don’t give up on him be­cause he’s as­sured you he’s not giv­ing up on you. Your sup­port is all he needs right now.

Since you’re not yet part of the fam­ily I sug­gest you let the fam­ily sort them­selves out. They might change their minds about the way they treat him when they re­alise he’s se­ri­ous about your re­la­tion­ship.

If they per­sist, you can sug­gest that your boyfriend seeks the as­sis­tance of a fam­ily coun­sel­lor to help him deal with this.

Good luck.

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