Simphiwe Ngema on her toughest year & life after Dumi
A year after the death of her beloved husband, Simphiwe Ngema is moving on and taking it one day at a time
TOP: Actor and singer Dumi Masilela lost his life during a botched hijacking last year. ABOVE: Simphiwe and Dumi wed just two months before he was murdered.
SHE’S learning to live again, one day at a time. For the past year she’s been mourning the man she loved with all her heart but life has to go on – and so she’s taken off her wedding ring, is going out with friends and family and enjoying some downtime at the poolside.
Simphiwe Ngema has also released one of the last songs her beloved husband, Dumi Masilela, recorded before his tragic death in a botched hijacking in Tembisa in August last year.
uPhushiwe is an ode to their love in which the singer and Rhythm City actor talked about sending his uncles to Simphiwe’s house to pay lobola.
He sang it for her during their traditional wedding ceremony, not knowing he’d have only a few more months left with the love of his life.
“It feels so different that he’s not here with us, enjoying this moment,” Simphiwe (29) said on Metro FM when she released the song. “If he was here he’d be screaming and whatever – climbing up the walls. Because he was just all about that energy. He was amazing!”
In a gut- wrenching post on Insta- gram just days after the song’s release, she said, “Doing it without you is tough, but I’m doing it anyway.”
One of the hardest things she’s had to do was take off the ring Dumi put on her finger.
“We have a love-hate relationship, sometimes I look at you [the ring] and I smile,” Simphiwe wrote in another heartrending Instagram post along with a video of her removing the ring.
“Sometimes I look at you and my heart bleeds. It’s almost time to let you go and the thought of living without you makes me anxious, but holding onto you is more painful. I will love you, forever and always.”
THE past year has been one of pain and grief – but possibly the hardest part of it all has been the judgment she’s received from the public. The former Muvhango actress has been the recipient of vicious barbs from critics who believe they know the deeply personal grieving process better that she does.
She’s advertising herself, they say when she’s spotted in a bikini at the beach. She needs to learn to cover up, they tell her as soon as she shows signs of being happy.
No one knows how hard her life has been, she has said on her often emotional social media posts.
She’d been feeling down and her family took her to the beach to cheer her up. “Little do people know that day was one of my lowest. I connected with God that day because for a split second I wasn’t sad.”
Some days she’s okay. And then there are days when she misses Dumi so much it’s hard to breathe. He was her “eternal crush” and she’s been learning to live without him but it’s been anything but easy.
“I’m not okay, not today. I miss my husband and my spirit feels heavy. Don’t let them lie to you, time doesn’t heal. God sustains you and you learn to carry the burden. You become stronger but some days you’ll be weak. Let yourself be weak. There is strength in living your truth,” Simphiwe posted on Instagram, just days after the first anniversary of his death.
Now she’s taking things one day at a time. “It hasn’t been easy, but I have to move on. I had to remember who I was before I met Dumi.”
SIMPHIWE has been through a lot for someone so young – and now she’s writing a book in a bid to inspire others and make them realise there is hope even in the darkest of days.
“I’m writing about my life and what I went through. I hope it will help someone who went through a similar experience,” she told Sunday World.
Simphiwe has slowly been making her way into the spotlight again. She’s played singer Dudu Mkhwanazi on e.tv drama Broken Vows and had a role on Uselwa, a drama series shot in KwaZulu-Natal. She’s excited to be acting again, she told Metro FM.
The actress is getting ready to join one of South Africa’s flagship soapies, Isidingo, and will start shooting this month. She’s going to play goal-oriented and driven Phindile Shezi, a straight-talker with a love for mining and writing.
“I love acting, it’s what I’m passionate about,” she said about her new role.
And it’s keeping her busy too – and that helps ease the pain and fill the empty hours.
Six people have been arrested in connection with Dumi Masilela’s murder and police are working to close the case, spokesperson Brigadier Mathapelo Peters says.
“Four of the men were arrested in 2017 and one suspect died in a robbery. The five accused are set for trial in the Pretoria High Cour from 8 to 19 October.”
‘I had to remember who I was before I met Dumi’
FAR LEFT: Simphiwe sang at Dumi’s funeral last year, and now she’s honoured his memory by releasing the song uPhushiwe, which Dumi sang on their wedding day. LEFT: She faced a lot flak after posting this pic of her in a bikini but she says people don’t understand how hard it’s been for her. RIGHT: Simphiwe’s parents have been very supportive the last year.