MY DEMANDING MOM-IN-LAW
Q I’ve been married for five years and we can’t do anything without my mother-in-law being involved. This isn’t just about having a meal together with her, we also have to go on holiday with her. We pay for everything because she has no money, which is fine, but she never says thank you. I’m struggling to deal with this situation more and more but don’t know how to ask my husband to find a balance. He naturally feels responsible for her. IRRITATED, SMS
A The task of breaking the umbilical cord between mother and son is a difficult and emotional one.
The one thing that has to be remembered here is such situations place the son in a difficult position because of the love he has for both mother and wife. But the mother needs to remember that she was a wife to her husband and enjoyed her time, so she should be willing to give her daughter-in-law the same courtesy.
Your husband should be able to draw the line with his mother and set aside time alone for just the two of you. It’s his responsibility to talk to his mother and make her understand she can’t always go along with you on holiday.
I suggest you talk to him about it before it gets out of hand and you start feeling like a third wheel in your marriage. See a counsellor together if you need help to figure this out.