SHE WON’T MOVE OUT
I’m 25 years old. I’m working and renting a small flat with one bedroom. About seven months ago I let my friend move in because she was feeling down.
She’d split up with her boyfriend, she didn’t like her job and she didn’t like the people she was living with.
I said she could stay for a bit, and sleep on the sofa, until she got her life together – thinking it would be one or two months at most but she’s still with me and I don’t see her doing anything to find somewhere else to live.
How can I tell her I want her to move out without hurting her feelings and ruining our friendship? FRUSTRATED, SMS It’s sad when people who are close to us take our kindness for granted and even end up abusing it. Your friend needs to understand you can’t put her up forever. She’s an adult and should know she can’t just decide she doesn’t like people or her job and therefore it’s all right to sponge off someone else.
She acted irresponsibly and you’re now suffering the consequences of that. You could easily have been there for her on an emotional level only – encouraging her to keep her job until she found another one and assisting her to find another place to live. Instead you gave her an easy way out.
You shouldn’t have to be her provider to be her friend. Talk to her frankly about the initial arrangement you had with her when she moved in.
She needs to understand she’s cramping your lifestyle – you need your freedom and independence, which was why you decided to move into a place of your own.
She should find her own place too. Straight-talking won’t break a true friendship. Need advice? E-mail sis[email protected] or SMS the keywords SIS DOLLY followed by your question and name to 36489. Each SMS (160 characters) costs R1.