Insiders on Hlomla Dandala’s marriage collapse
Actor Hlomla Dandala and his estranged wife Brendah are each coping in their own way after the split, friends say
FOR years the saying has held that “hell hath no fur y like a woman scorned”. But two months ago Hlomla Dandala’s social- media outburst showed that this old phrase may well apply to either gender. He accused his wife of cheating on him, as many of his Instagram followers will know. Now, after four years together, the actor’s marriage has hit rock bottom, sources close to the couple reveal.
Just a year ago Hlomla (44) and Brendah (43) were the picture of domestic bliss. He described the home he shared with his family as noisy and lively.
They’d spent their evenings trying out new activities or apps – except for
movie nights, when they’d all curl up in blankets to watch a film together. But it seems this is all in the past. Their break-up has stunned family and friends, a source close to the couple says.
“He has his flaws, but he was a happy family man. They looked happy.”
The split was unexpected, the source continues. “I thought they were going to resolve this between them.
“He also has his own flaws and Brendah has forgiven him before.”
Hlomla has previously spoken about how he encourages communication but it appears no amount of it could help this time.
At one point in the past the couple’s families intervened to try to get them to sort out their problems and they did the same in this instance. “Brendah’s family came from Zimbabwe late last year to talk to them.”
Another friend, who also spoke on condition of anonymity, reveals the former All You Need is Love host feels he can’t trust his wife any longer. Hlomla told them he felt deceived because the man she allegedly slept with was someone who had come into his home – his sanctuary – a
‘They’ve built a home together, now they have to go their separate ways’
number of times.
“There was no coming back from that, and nothing to fix. He just wanted to move on with his life,” the insider says.
“Who wouldn’t feel betrayed? I really don’t blame him. It’s just that he had
grown. This relationship made him a responsible man. He was there for her.
“After your wife allegedly cheats on you there is no other way but to let her go. His ego is bruised because they were happy. He didn’t see this one coming.”
“I think it’s a very sensitive matter to talk about,” says another insider close to Hlomla. “It’s something you can’t even ask people about.”
THIS is Hlomla’s second marriage. The actor, who rose to fame as mine manager Derek Nyathi in SABC3’s Isidingo back in 1998, was previously married to actress Candy Litchfield. Hlomla and Candy filed for divorce in 2013 but had reportedly been living apart since 2007.
City Press reported he had fathered three children out of wedlock with former Miss City Press Nkele Motsomi, air hostess Sisanda Gqirana and Brendah, while he was married to Candy.
At the time, Hlomla confirmed to News24 that his marriage had broken down, but denied it was because he had fathered children outside of it.
“It’s common knowledge that Candida and I split a while back. Our divorce has been finalised and she has not been my wife for some years now,” he said in a statement.
“When I fathered my children, we had already separated. It is false that I fathered the children while I was with Candida.”
Known to keep his private life out of the public eye, he refused to reveal the reasons behind their break-up, saying only: “As with any divorce, it is the inability to find common ground.”
Hlomla also denied his marriage to Candy collapsed because he was cheating with Brendah.
Eight months ago Hlomla and Candy attended Shona and Connie Ferguson’s 17th wedding anniversary party but they don’t seem to be back together, a guest at the party says.
“They were not cosy or anything like that. They were mingling with everyone but you’d never know.”
Two years after he and Candy split, Hlomla wed Brendah after a whirlwind romance. Now it seems there’s little love lost between the two.
After four short years the former lovebirds have lost the passion that seemed to burn so brightly in their many social-media snaps.
They refuse to be drawn on it though and both are tight-lipped about their separation.
Hlomla refused to comment when we contacted him.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” he said before hanging up.
Brendah didn’t respond to calls and messages sent to her.
DRUM has learnt the couple have entered into an agreement that bars them from discussing issues that could tarnish each other’s image. It’s not known if the legal agreement stems from Hlomla’s recent meltdown on social media.
In a series of tweets the actor shared images, which he claimed were that of a man whom he refers to as “Chiskop”. In his social-media post, he accused the man of having an affair with his wife.
“When a man enters your house, gets intimate with your wife while your children are IN THE HOUSE knowing full well that you are the husband, and then publicised their pictures on social media for the world to see, what is meant to happen?” he wrote.
“Any thoughts,” Hlomla continued, tagging the guy. However, some of his Twitter followers weren’t impressed with him airing his wife’s dirty laundry in public like that.
Some even told him it was in fact karma dealing with him, and that he was angry because he got a taste of his own medicine.
“Revenge is a dish best served cold,” one social-media user wrote on Twitter. “The cheater got cheated.”
Hlomla has since removed the tweets accusing Brendah of cheating, but he did clap back on social media.
“It’s cute when trolls judge you based solely on tabloids that were disproved years ago.
“But continue vomiting your hurts about men that hurt you on me,” he wrote.
In another post he said: “So for the record, now that it’s out, I don’t regret hurting. I’m human. I regret succumbing to social pressures of bottling my hurt and storing it for so long that it came out this way.
“That’s what I was taught. To show strength. I will do better by my boys. #Toxicmasculinity.”
Both Hlomla and Brendah can now start their healing processes. Their friend says Brendah has moved to Dainfern, north of Johannesburg, while Hlomla stays in their marital home in Observatory.
“They are both hurting,” our source says. “They’ve built a home together, now they have to go their separate ways. It’s not easy.”
TOP: Hlomla blasted his wife Brendah on social media, claiming she’d had an affair with a man he referred to as “@chiskop”.
ABOVE: Hlomla and ex-wife Candy Litchfield. They divorced in 2013 but had reportedly been living apart since 2007.