In­sid­ers on Hlomla Dan­dala’s mar­riage col­lapse

Ac­tor Hlomla Dan­dala and his es­tranged wife Bren­dah are each cop­ing in their own way after the split, friends say

DRUM - - CONTENTS - BY KHOSI BIYELA

FOR years the say­ing has held that “hell hath no fur y like a woman scorned”. But two months ago Hlomla Dan­dala’s so­cial- ­me­dia out­burst showed that this old phrase may well ap­ply to ei­ther gen­der. He ac­cused his wife of cheat­ing on him, as many of his In­sta­gram fol­low­ers will know. Now, after four years to­gether, the ac­tor’s mar­riage has hit rock bot­tom, sources close to the cou­ple re­veal.

Just a year ago Hlomla (44) and Bren­dah (43) were the pic­ture of do­mes­tic bliss. He de­scribed the home he shared with his fam­ily as noisy and lively.

They’d spent their evenings try­ing out new ac­tiv­i­ties or apps – ex­cept for

movie nights, when they’d all curl up in blan­kets to watch a film to­gether. But it seems this is all in the past. Their break-up has stunned fam­ily and friends, a source close to the cou­ple says.

“He has his flaws, but he was a happy fam­ily man. They looked happy.”

The split was un­ex­pected, the source con­tin­ues. “I thought they were go­ing to re­solve this be­tween them.

“He also has his own flaws and Bren­dah has for­given him be­fore.”

Hlomla has pre­vi­ously spo­ken about how he en­cour­ages com­mu­ni­ca­tion but it ap­pears no amount of it could help this time.

At one point in the past the cou­ple’s fam­i­lies in­ter­vened to try to get them to sort out their prob­lems and they did the same in this in­stance. “Bren­dah’s fam­ily came from Zim­babwe late last year to talk to them.”

An­other friend, who also spoke on condition of anonymity, re­veals the for­mer All You Need is Love host feels he can’t trust his wife any longer. Hlomla told them he felt de­ceived be­cause the man she al­legedly slept with was some­one who had come into his home – his sanc­tu­ary – a

‘They’ve built a home to­gether, now they have to go their sep­a­rate ways’

num­ber of times.

“There was no com­ing back from that, and noth­ing to fix. He just wanted to move on with his life,” the in­sider says.

“Who wouldn’t feel be­trayed? I re­ally don’t blame him. It’s just that he had

grown. This re­la­tion­ship made him a re­spon­si­ble man. He was there for her.

“After your wife al­legedly cheats on you there is no other way but to let her go. His ego is bruised be­cause they were happy. He didn’t see this one com­ing.”

“I think it’s a very sensitive mat­ter to talk about,” says an­other in­sider close to Hlomla. “It’s some­thing you can’t even ask peo­ple about.”

THIS is Hlomla’s sec­ond mar­riage. The ac­tor, who rose to fame as mine man­ager Derek Ny­athi in SABC3’s ­Isidingo back in 1998, was pre­vi­ously mar­ried to ­ac­tress Candy Litch­field. Hlomla and Candy filed for di­vorce in 2013 but had re­port­edly been liv­ing apart since 2007.

City Press re­ported he had fa­thered three chil­dren out of wed­lock with for­mer Miss City Press Nkele Mot­somi, air host­ess Sisanda Gqi­rana and Bren­dah, while he was mar­ried to Candy.

At the time, Hlomla con­firmed to News24 that his mar­riage had bro­ken down, but de­nied it was be­cause he had fa­thered chil­dren out­side of it.

“It’s com­mon knowl­edge that Can­dida and I split a while back. Our ­di­vorce has been fi­nalised and she has not been my wife for some years now,” he said in a state­ment.

“When I fa­thered my chil­dren, we had al­ready sep­a­rated. It is false that I ­fa­thered the chil­dren while I was with Can­dida.”

Known to keep his pri­vate life out of the pub­lic eye, he refused to re­veal the rea­sons be­hind their break-up, say­ing only: “As with any di­vorce, it is the in­abil­ity to find com­mon ground.”

Hlomla also de­nied his mar­riage to Candy col­lapsed be­cause he was cheat­ing with Bren­dah.

Eight months ago Hlomla and Candy at­tended Shona and Con­nie Fer­gu­son’s 17th wed­ding an­niver­sary party but they don’t seem to be back to­gether, a guest at the party says.

“They were not cosy or any­thing like that. They were min­gling with ev­ery­one but you’d never know.”

Two years after he and Candy split, Hlomla wed Bren­dah after a whirl­wind ro­mance. Now it seems there’s lit­tle love lost be­tween the two.

After four short years the for­mer love­birds have lost the pas­sion that seemed to burn so brightly in their many so­cial-me­dia snaps.

They refuse to be drawn on it though and both are tight-lipped about their sep­a­ra­tion.

Hlomla refused to com­ment when we con­tacted him.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” he said be­fore hang­ing up.

Bren­dah didn’t re­spond to calls and mes­sages sent to her.

DRUM has learnt the cou­ple have en­tered into an agree­ment that bars them from dis­cussing is­sues that could tar­nish each other’s im­age. It’s not known if the le­gal agree­ment stems from Hlomla’s re­cent melt­down on so­cial me­dia.

In a se­ries of tweets the ac­tor shared im­ages, which he claimed were that of a man whom he refers to as “Chiskop”. In his so­cial-me­dia post, he ac­cused the man of hav­ing an af­fair with his wife.

“When a man en­ters your house, gets in­ti­mate with your wife while your ­chil­dren are IN THE HOUSE know­ing full well that you are the hus­band, and then pub­li­cised their pic­tures on so­cial me­dia for the world to see, what is meant to hap­pen?” he wrote.

“Any thoughts,” Hlomla con­tin­ued, tag­ging the guy. How­ever, some of his Twit­ter fol­low­ers weren’t impressed with him air­ing his wife’s dirty laun­dry in pub­lic like that.

Some even told him it was in fact karma deal­ing with him, and that he was an­gry be­cause he got a taste of his own medicine.

“Re­venge is a dish best served cold,” one so­cial-me­dia user wrote on Twit­ter. “The cheater got cheated.”

Hlomla has since re­moved the tweets ac­cus­ing Bren­dah of cheat­ing, but he did clap back on so­cial me­dia.

“It’s cute when trolls judge you based solely on tabloids that were dis­proved years ago.

“But con­tinue vom­it­ing your hurts about men that hurt you on me,” he wrote.

In an­other post he said: “So for the record, now that it’s out, I don’t regret hurt­ing. I’m hu­man. I regret suc­cumb­ing to so­cial pres­sures of bot­tling my hurt and stor­ing it for so long that it came out this way.

“That’s what I was taught. To show strength. I will do bet­ter by my boys. #Tox­i­c­mas­culin­ity.”

Both Hlomla and Bren­dah can now start their heal­ing pro­cesses. Their friend says Bren­dah has moved to Dain­fern, north of Jo­han­nes­burg, while Hlomla stays in their mar­i­tal home in Ob­ser­va­tory.

“They are both hurt­ing,” our source says. “They’ve built a home to­gether, now they have to go their sep­a­rate ways. It’s not easy.”

TOP: Hlomla blasted his wife Bren­dah on so­cial me­dia, claim­ing she’d had an af­fair with a man he re­ferred to as “@chiskop”.

ABOVE: Hlomla and ex-wife Candy Litch­field. They di­vorced in 2013 but had re­port­edly been liv­ing apart since 2007.

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