Zodwa Wa­bantu re­veals her re­la­tion­ship prob­lems

The cer­e­mony is off, the lobola is be­ing re­turned and he’s keep­ing his ring – Zodwa Wa­bantu re­veals her re­la­tion­ship sta­tus

DRUM - - CONTENTS - BY QHAMA DAYILE

SHE pro­posed with great fan­fare, bring­ing as much at­ten­tion to the mo­ment as she could. She went down on bended knee to ask her young lover to be hers for­ever, then trekked to his fam­ily to pay lobola.

And all the while the hype around them grew as she made one con­tro­ver­sial high-pro­file ap­pear­ance af­ter the other.

But it seems the drama that fol­lows Zodwa Wa­bantu wher­ever she goes was sim­ply too much for her bae.

That’s why she and her ­fi­ancé, Nto­beko Linda, have called the wed­ding off – even though they haven’t bro­ken up 100%.

“Uyazi (You know), my dress was go­ing to re­veal all the right places? I’m Zodwa af­ter all,” she tells DRUM.

Zodwa had picked the wed­ding date and her brides­maids started de­sign­ing their dresses, she says. Her gown would’ve shown off her most-trea­sured as­sets: her legs.

But now the wed­ding is off, Zodwa con­firms. And she wants her lobola back.

“He didn’t cheat on me, he didn’t do any­thing wrong. We just de­cided to call it off,” she says.

“Ev­ery­thing just be­came too much for us. The fame, the book­ings, hardly spend­ing time to­gether be­cause I am al­ways trav­el­ing and on the road.”

Nto­beko’s job as a bank teller means he spent his week­ends at work. “When he is off, I’m work­ing and when he is work­ing I’m off. So that put a strain on our re­la­tion­ship be­cause we hardly had time to bond and to catch up.

“That made us fight a lot. When we were to­gether at a restau­rant or out drink­ing, peo­ple would want to take pic­tures and that an­noyed him some­times.”

ZODWA is known as a rule- breaker, a hus­tler, a woman who doesn’t care about norms and taboos. That’s why she won’t pay any at­ten­tion to the rules sur­round­ing lobola.

“I want it back be­cause what if it doesn’t work and he keeps my money?” she says.

“It’s not that much, he can keep half

and I’ll take half,” she adds, re­fer­ring to the R80 000 she gave to his fam­ily.

Ac­cord­ing to tra­di­tional leader Dr Sipho Ng­wenya, lobola is meant to unite fam­i­lies. “Lobola is not buy­ing the ser­vices of the bride or the groom,” he tells DRUM.

“By pay­ing lobola you were ask­ing for unity among fam­i­lies.

“An an­i­mal is slaugh­tered af­ter it has been paid to an­nounce the unity of fam­i­lies to the an­ces­tors.

“That process can­not be re­versed. Fam­i­lies are united, pe­riod.

“When cou­ples de­cide to sep­a­rate and dis­agree, it doesn’t mean ubuhlobo (the unity among fam­i­lies) is also bro­ken. You are still united but not to­gether, there­fore

lobola can­not be re­turned. “Even when one part­ner is found cheat­ing, in the worst-case sce­nario a price can be paid by the guilty party. But the lobola can­not be re­turned.”

Nto­beko says his fam­ily has no is­sues with re­turn­ing the lobola. “I’m not a gold-dig­ger, I work for my money and she knows that,” he tells us.

He still loves Zodwa, he says. “She and I were happy be­fore all this me­dia at­ten­tion. Maybe that’s the mis­take we made – by putting our re­la­tion­ship out there it be­came too de­mand­ing.

“But we will do things the right way. She did it the right way,” he says, re­fer­ring to the re­turn­ing of the lobola.

“But I’m keep­ing the ring,” he adds with a laugh.

Al­though they’ve called off their wed­ding, they’re still very much in love.

There was a short break-up but they quickly made up again. Now they’re just find­ing each other again with­out the pres­sure of plan­ning their nup­tials.

“We love each ­other, it’s that sim­ple,” Zodwa says.

“We called it off so we can work on fix­ing the re­la­tion­ship first.”

SHE hit the bot­tle when their re­la­tion­ship hit the skids. “When we broke up, I was down­ing three bot­tles of Jack Daniel’s a night to numb the pain,” Zodwa says. But they weren’t apart for too long. “You know I can have any man I want but I chose him, and he chose me. At least we are still to­gether and work­ing on us.”

She’s gone to lengths to make her re­la­tion­ship work with her young part­ner, who’s 11 years her ju­nior.

The mother of one has even opted for

vagi­nal re­ju­ve­na­tion treat­ments.

“I wanted to en­hance our sex life,” ­Zodwa says. “He knows I’m a beast in the bed­room, but I just wanted it tighter – not that it was loose, but men like it tighter.”

Zodwa re­cently had three vagi­nal tight­en­ing ses­sions where she was put un­der gen­eral anaes­thetic. “It wasn’t painful at all and it took me four days to heal. I mean busi­ness, Nto­beko knows.” Each ses­sion costs R2 250, says Dr Ma­hen­dra Prem­c­hand, who per­formed the surgery in Umh­langa.

“Women do vagi­nal re­ju­ve­na­tion and vagi­nal tight­en­ing for dif­fer­ent rea­sons,” he says. “Some feel a change in their elas­tic­ity es­pe­cially af­ter hav­ing chil­dren.” Dr Prem­c­hand ap­proached the re­al­ity TV star af­ter see­ing how open-minded she was. “She’s com­fort­able in her skin and makes taboo con­ver­sa­tions com­fort­able for oth­ers.”

The pro­ce­dure comes with very lit­tle to no side-ef­fects, he says. “As long as women re­frain from hav­ing sex­ual in­ter­course for four to five days and wash nor­mally with­out us­ing any scented soaps, then all should heal quickly.”

Zodwa’s last ses­sion was three weeks ago and she’s fully re­cov­ered now.

Her lover loves the ef­fects of the treat­ment, he tells us when we speak to him.

“It works. Not that I was com­plain­ing be­fore, but what­ever she did works,” Nto­beko says.

Zodwa is happy too. “I’m not ashamed to say my moomoo was a bit loose, but now it’s tight,” she says. “As long as I’m sat­is­fy­ing my man, I am okay.”

She’s clearly not shy to talk about her sex­u­al­ity. “I want to teach other women who, like me, grew up with noth­ing that they can be who­ever they want to be and do what­ever they want with their lives and their bodies,” she says.

“No one can tell me what to wear or how to be­have. It’s my life.”

Zodwa hopes she’ll find her hap­pily ever af­ter one day. “I want to make money, but I also love be­ing loved. But I won’t put up with non­sense ei­ther,” she says.

“Nto­beko is young. He still has a bright fu­ture ahead of him and I don’t want to con­trol him just be­cause I am older.

“For now, he can en­joy the tight moomoo and let’s just be happy.”

‘We’re go­ing to work on fix­ing things’

FROM FAR LEFT: Zodwa now won’t have more dress fit­tings. Nto­beko’s mom, Noku­khanya Linda, and fam­ily are re­turn­ing the lobola money but he’ll keep the ring (BE­LOW).

Zodwa re­cently re­ceived a vagi­nal re­ju­ve­na­tion pro­ce­dure, per­formed by Dr Ma­hen­dra Prem­c­hand. She wanted to keep her body young, she says.

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