Zodwa Wabantu reveals her relationship problems
The ceremony is off, the lobola is being returned and he’s keeping his ring – Zodwa Wabantu reveals her relationship status
SHE proposed with great fanfare, bringing as much attention to the moment as she could. She went down on bended knee to ask her young lover to be hers forever, then trekked to his family to pay lobola.
And all the while the hype around them grew as she made one controversial high-profile appearance after the other.
But it seems the drama that follows Zodwa Wabantu wherever she goes was simply too much for her bae.
That’s why she and her fiancé, Ntobeko Linda, have called the wedding off – even though they haven’t broken up 100%.
“Uyazi (You know), my dress was going to reveal all the right places? I’m Zodwa after all,” she tells DRUM.
Zodwa had picked the wedding date and her bridesmaids started designing their dresses, she says. Her gown would’ve shown off her most-treasured assets: her legs.
But now the wedding is off, Zodwa confirms. And she wants her lobola back.
“He didn’t cheat on me, he didn’t do anything wrong. We just decided to call it off,” she says.
“Everything just became too much for us. The fame, the bookings, hardly spending time together because I am always traveling and on the road.”
Ntobeko’s job as a bank teller means he spent his weekends at work. “When he is off, I’m working and when he is working I’m off. So that put a strain on our relationship because we hardly had time to bond and to catch up.
“That made us fight a lot. When we were together at a restaurant or out drinking, people would want to take pictures and that annoyed him sometimes.”
ZODWA is known as a rule- breaker, a hustler, a woman who doesn’t care about norms and taboos. That’s why she won’t pay any attention to the rules surrounding lobola.
“I want it back because what if it doesn’t work and he keeps my money?” she says.
“It’s not that much, he can keep half
and I’ll take half,” she adds, referring to the R80 000 she gave to his family.
According to traditional leader Dr Sipho Ngwenya, lobola is meant to unite families. “Lobola is not buying the services of the bride or the groom,” he tells DRUM.
“By paying lobola you were asking for unity among families.
“An animal is slaughtered after it has been paid to announce the unity of families to the ancestors.
“That process cannot be reversed. Families are united, period.
“When couples decide to separate and disagree, it doesn’t mean ubuhlobo (the unity among families) is also broken. You are still united but not together, therefore
lobola cannot be returned. “Even when one partner is found cheating, in the worst-case scenario a price can be paid by the guilty party. But the lobola cannot be returned.”
Ntobeko says his family has no issues with returning the lobola. “I’m not a gold-digger, I work for my money and she knows that,” he tells us.
He still loves Zodwa, he says. “She and I were happy before all this media attention. Maybe that’s the mistake we made – by putting our relationship out there it became too demanding.
“But we will do things the right way. She did it the right way,” he says, referring to the returning of the lobola.
“But I’m keeping the ring,” he adds with a laugh.
Although they’ve called off their wedding, they’re still very much in love.
There was a short break-up but they quickly made up again. Now they’re just finding each other again without the pressure of planning their nuptials.
“We love each other, it’s that simple,” Zodwa says.
“We called it off so we can work on fixing the relationship first.”
SHE hit the bottle when their relationship hit the skids. “When we broke up, I was downing three bottles of Jack Daniel’s a night to numb the pain,” Zodwa says. But they weren’t apart for too long. “You know I can have any man I want but I chose him, and he chose me. At least we are still together and working on us.”
She’s gone to lengths to make her relationship work with her young partner, who’s 11 years her junior.
The mother of one has even opted for
vaginal rejuvenation treatments.
“I wanted to enhance our sex life,” Zodwa says. “He knows I’m a beast in the bedroom, but I just wanted it tighter – not that it was loose, but men like it tighter.”
Zodwa recently had three vaginal tightening sessions where she was put under general anaesthetic. “It wasn’t painful at all and it took me four days to heal. I mean business, Ntobeko knows.” Each session costs R2 250, says Dr Mahendra Premchand, who performed the surgery in Umhlanga.
“Women do vaginal rejuvenation and vaginal tightening for different reasons,” he says. “Some feel a change in their elasticity especially after having children.” Dr Premchand approached the reality TV star after seeing how open-minded she was. “She’s comfortable in her skin and makes taboo conversations comfortable for others.”
The procedure comes with very little to no side-effects, he says. “As long as women refrain from having sexual intercourse for four to five days and wash normally without using any scented soaps, then all should heal quickly.”
Zodwa’s last session was three weeks ago and she’s fully recovered now.
Her lover loves the effects of the treatment, he tells us when we speak to him.
“It works. Not that I was complaining before, but whatever she did works,” Ntobeko says.
Zodwa is happy too. “I’m not ashamed to say my moomoo was a bit loose, but now it’s tight,” she says. “As long as I’m satisfying my man, I am okay.”
She’s clearly not shy to talk about her sexuality. “I want to teach other women who, like me, grew up with nothing that they can be whoever they want to be and do whatever they want with their lives and their bodies,” she says.
“No one can tell me what to wear or how to behave. It’s my life.”
Zodwa hopes she’ll find her happily ever after one day. “I want to make money, but I also love being loved. But I won’t put up with nonsense either,” she says.
“Ntobeko is young. He still has a bright future ahead of him and I don’t want to control him just because I am older.
“For now, he can enjoy the tight moomoo and let’s just be happy.”
‘We’re going to work on fixing things’
FROM FAR LEFT: Zodwa now won’t have more dress fittings. Ntobeko’s mom, Nokukhanya Linda, and family are returning the lobola money but he’ll keep the ring (BELOW).
Zodwa recently received a vaginal rejuvenation procedure, performed by Dr Mahendra Premchand. She wanted to keep her body young, she says.