Is it just banter or bullying?
QWhen I was a child my father had a sharp tongue on him. I can’t remember him telling me he loved me or showing it in any way, but I have plenty of memories of him laughing at and criticising me. He said it would toughen me and my brother up but it’s had the opposite effect. I married a kind man and we brought our children up to be kind, but my brother has copied our father. His wife can stand up to him but she has a hard time protecting their son. My brother calls it banter, we call it bullying. Can I do anything to turn him around?
ABanter is a word people use to dress up something ugly for which they’d have no defence if they called it what it was. Sit your brother down and tell him you love him. Then explain to him how much your father damaged you and how you can never love or forgive him for it. Say you understand how easy it is to follow patterns but that he may not be copying the right way. Tell him he has the power to find a new way and suggest he contact a counsellor for support.